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According to NPR, only 13% of mothers successfully breastfeed exclusively for the recommended six months. I consider myself fortunate; among my three children, I breastfed my older two for over a year and a half, and my four-month-old daughter and I are still going strong. However, my journey with breastfeeding has not been without its hurdles—think cracked nipples, thrush, and milk blebs. Yet, despite the challenges, I’ve remained committed each time. While it hasn’t always been easy, it has certainly been worthwhile.
So, please, I implore you, stop asking me when I plan to give my breastfed baby a bottle. I honestly don’t understand why some feel the need to voice their opinions. Ever since I first took my daughter out in public, aside from doctor’s appointments, I’ve encountered the question, “Haven’t you started giving her a bottle yet?” Did I mention she’s just four months old?
Did I leave my nipples at home? What could she possibly gain from a bottle that she can’t get from me while I’m right here with her? The reason I don’t give her a bottle when I’m with her is that I simply don’t need to. There are numerous ways to bond with a baby that don’t involve feeding them. So please, think of something else to say!
On the rare occasions that I’ve had to leave her, thankfully, she has taken a bottle without any fuss. However, introducing a breastfed baby to a bottle involves various considerations. Nipple confusion is a genuine concern. Then there’s the learning curve of pace feeding and finding a bottle that she won’t reject. It’s not as straightforward as you might think! Honestly, I’m more focused on maintaining my own mental well-being than worrying about how the mere sight of my nipples might affect you. I’ve already had enough to learn about this new little human.
Should I even touch on the unique challenges faced by Black women in breastfeeding? According to the CDC, Black women often encounter barriers to successful breastfeeding, such as returning to work earlier, receiving less breastfeeding information from healthcare providers, and having limited access to professional support. To add to the complexity, we are also dealing with the traumatic legacy of slavery and forced breastfeeding. So now you want to shame me for wanting to nourish my own child? Not happening!
Moreover, many women of color are primary breadwinners and are compelled to return to work sooner—thanks to inadequate maternity leave in the U.S. Paid maternity leave is often too short for mothers to establish breastfeeding successfully. We are also at a higher risk of experiencing complications both before and after childbirth, which can exhaust our paid leave before the baby even arrives. I returned to work when my second son was just seven weeks old. Thankfully, I had the flexibility to pump at work, but often I found myself doing so in my car. Many workplaces lack proper pumping facilities and don’t offer support. As a 27-year-old Black mother among other millennial women of color, I encountered some truly baffling conversations about breastfeeding, including one coworker who claimed he wasn’t breastfed because it “felt gay.” This reflects the disturbing over-sexualization of Black bodies.
All of this to say, as mothers, we face enough obstacles as it is. We’re already in our heads about breastfeeding—worried about whether our baby is getting enough to eat and gaining weight appropriately. We constantly think about our diet and how it affects our milk supply. Should we take fenugreek? How much Body Armor is safe to drink? Is that mastitis or just a clogged duct?
Breastfeeding is challenging. I certainly don’t need unsolicited comments from onlookers, especially those that contradict my long-term goals.
This article was originally published on Oct. 8, 2021.
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Summary
Breastfeeding can present various challenges, especially for mothers of color who often face additional barriers. In this piece, the author expresses frustration over societal pressure to introduce bottles to breastfed babies, emphasizing the importance of breastfeeding for bonding and mental health. She highlights the unique struggles that many Black women encounter while trying to breastfeed, including workplace obstacles and cultural stigmas. Ultimately, the message is clear: mothers need support rather than criticism in their breastfeeding journeys.