Trigger warning: discussion of suicide
Every parent knows the feeling of being pushed to their limits. It’s a natural part of being human, yet when a teenager grapples with mental health challenges amid the turmoil of puberty, school changes, and a pandemic, the stakes become even higher.
Our role as parents is to safeguard our children and remind them of their inherent value. Recently, my teenager became overwhelmed by the weight of our reality—the pandemic, isolation, and other stressors. In a moment of vulnerability, he expressed, “I want to end my life,” revealing a hidden blade in his room.
Hearing the word “suicide” in relation to my child for the first time was devastating. As I stood there, witnessing his tears, I couldn’t help but replay moments in my mind, questioning where I might have faltered as a mother. In that shared space, I felt his despair echoing within me.
I want every parent navigating the complexities of raising a child—especially one facing mental health struggles—to understand this: You are not alone. We are all in this together. Many times, I felt as if my family was isolated, holding our breath in anticipation of what could potentially happen next. The trauma of angry outbursts, impulsive decisions, and calls from school felt overwhelming.
While my family provided support, we recognized that we couldn’t do it alone; our child needed more than we could offer. We filled his schedule with activities to stimulate his mind, sought out a pediatrician experienced with his diagnoses, and committed ourselves to be there for him through the challenges.
The following day, when the crisis counselor answered our call, she reminded us that the journey can be just as challenging for parents. “Do you have a support system?” she inquired. We had previously answered this question for our son’s pediatrician affirmatively, and we reiterated the same to her.
Raising a child is inherently challenging, but doing so with a child facing mental health issues can test even the strongest families. It can strain marriages and impact siblings. Often, I felt like I had missed something—like I had failed my son—and the sense of shame weighed heavily on me.
The National Suicide Prevention hotline was a number we had been advised to call. Unsure and anxious about what to expect, we found ourselves speaking with a stranger who helped guide us through the recent turmoil. Thankfully, after two hours on the phone, it became clear that our son was not in immediate danger, as he hadn’t formulated a plan to harm himself.
As we navigated the aftermath of that frightening night, we took precautions to remove potentially harmful objects from our home, including the knives in our kitchen.
Research indicates that male teens face varying rates of suicidal thoughts and attempts, and we were not alone in this struggle.
For those parenting children seeking a more peaceful existence, building a community with other parents who understand can be invaluable. Online groups, such as those on Facebook, provide a platform for sharing experiences. Being open about our son’s struggles has opened up conversations that can help mitigate feelings of isolation and shame.
Though our family is still on this journey, we now have access to professionals who can offer guidance. Over the next several weeks, we’ll receive regular check-ins from individuals experienced in these matters, helping us assemble a mental health team for our son. This will include finding the right medications to address his diagnoses, including ADHD and anxiety.
My partner and I are leaning into each other more, allowing space to express our feelings. We knew parenting would be challenging, but we never anticipated facing these particular obstacles.
For more insights on navigating similar issues, consider exploring resources like A Day In Our Shoes, which can provide support and community for families facing similar challenges. You can also find valuable information on this website that focuses on couples’ fertility journeys, or check out this excellent resource for information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
This heartfelt narrative delves into the struggles of parenting a teenager facing mental health challenges amidst external pressures like a pandemic. The author shares the emotional turmoil of hearing her child express suicidal thoughts, the importance of seeking professional help, and the need for community support. The journey is ongoing, yet the author emphasizes that they are not alone in their challenges.
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