If you absolutely dread the holiday card tradition—whether that means you outright refuse to send them, tossing most of the ones you receive straight into the trash, or you force your family into awkward poses to feign a picture-perfect life while secretly resenting every moment—you’re not alone. For many of us, holiday cards add another layer of stress during an already chaotic and costly season.
Despite knowing that many share our disdain for these cards, we still find ourselves dressing our kids in matching outfits, bribing them with sweets for a smile, and mailing off these staged family images to relatives we seldom see. All for what? To project an image of a flawless life? (Spoiler alert: they probably already know the truth.)
Some of us opt for the “authentic” approach, sending out photos of grumpy, mud-covered toddlers, makeup-free selfies, and cluttered living rooms—because that’s the reality of life. “Happy Holidays,” the caption might read. “Please, let these kids return to school in 2021, and let me take a vacation.” Sound familiar?
Many of us choose not to send out Christmas cards at all. Honestly, who really cares about your family’s updates? I’d rather send a present or skip it entirely.
Confessional #25810079: Maybe someday people will realize that no one desires to receive Christmas cards filled with your family photos. I personally can’t stand them.
Confessional #1522299: I find myself critiquing everyone’s Christmas card choices.
Confessional #1762016: Those picture cards are unnecessary unless you’re a close friend or relative. I don’t need to see you and your kids swimming with dolphins in Cancun; it just feels like bragging.
The harsh reality is that many of the people you send those pricey cards to probably don’t care and might toss them in the trash. So next time you’re tempted to splurge on matching outfits for that “ideal family photo,” remember that.
One year, I only managed to get one decent smile from my daughter near the Christmas tree when she was holding an iPad. So, I photoshopped a cartoon gift into her hands and sent that out as our holiday card.
Confessional #2079953: I obsess over getting the “perfect” Christmas card every year.
Confessional #1661563: I send out adorable family photo cards with matching pajamas, even though my husband and I can barely stand each other.
Confessional #1599359: Everything in the newsletter I send with my Christmas cards is made up, except for the names.
Confessional #1679649: I send out beautiful Christmas cards every year, despite my disdain for the holiday. One day, I’ll sign them, “Xmas Sucks.”
Yet, despite knowing that most of our family and friends might not truly appreciate our efforts, we still pursue the ideal card, even if it means we’re at each other’s throats, the kids are crying, and the entire endeavor feels like a facade.
I try to send cards, but I often end up doing it after Christmas because I’m so overwhelmed with everything else.
Confessional #25810015: Christmas cards make me anxious. When I receive one, I feel obliged to reciprocate, and I just don’t get the point!
The truth is, for many, the holiday card routine adds unnecessary anxiety. We’re already juggling gingerbread houses, cookie baking, present wrapping, and dealing with a mischievous elf.
We’ve lived in our new home for over three years, yet this Christmas, the previous residents received more Christmas cards than we did.
Confessional #2603396: I thought I had plenty of friends until I moved to a small town and only got one Christmas card.
Confessional #1679769: We sent out 30 cards this year and only received one in return. It feels lonely and forgotten.
Confessional #2579533: I keep my Christmas cards displayed because they make me feel like I have friends, even if I haven’t spoken to most of them in years.
Confessional #2153705: The holidays used to bring me joy, but now they serve as a constant reminder of my divorce and childlessness. I resent those cheerful cards featuring cute kids and perfect families.
Ultimately, the holiday card tradition can amplify feelings of loneliness. Some people receive stacks of cards daily from family and friends, while others may be lucky to get a couple. The last thing anyone needs is to be reminded of their solitude during the holidays.
For better or worse, each card we send (or receive) reflects the year we’ve had. This year’s cards may include masked faces, evoking bittersweet memories as we miss loved ones. We hope that amidst the chaos, you can find some joyful moments to cherish.
Whether you love them or loathe them, holiday cards are here to stay. Don’t let anyone judge you for skipping this tradition. Share your family moments on social media instead or send out a lengthy annual newsletter. Do what makes you comfortable, but don’t stress over perfection. Those who truly care about you will love you just the same, irrespective of whether your life appears picture-perfect or not.
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Summary:
The holiday card tradition brings mixed feelings for many, causing stress and anxiety during an already hectic time. While some dread the process of crafting the perfect card, others embrace authenticity by sharing real-life moments. Regardless of how one feels about holiday cards, they often serve as reminders of the year gone by and can amplify feelings of loneliness for some. Ultimately, the choice to partake in this tradition should align with personal comfort rather than societal expectations.