Hey fellow parents! You’re doing an amazing job—likely even better than you think. Parenting can be tough, but trust that you’re getting it right. It’s time to give yourself some well-deserved recognition.
I’m not the parent I expected to be. I wouldn’t say I’m a bad parent; in fact, I believe I’m a pretty great one. I love my children with all my heart. Each evening, I remind them that I love them, I’m proud of who they are, and I look forward to seeing them in the morning.
Initially, I pictured myself as that parent who never falls behind on chores, never raises her voice, and never swears under her breath. For the first couple of years with my first child, I actually managed to be that parent.
But as time goes on, parenting becomes more challenging. Kids grow up, and now there are three of them. Life throws curveballs, and you might find yourself in the bathroom, surrounded by discarded pajamas and wet towels, exclaiming, “Why doesn’t anyone in this house understand they should listen to me?! The hamper is only one foot away!” At least I do from time to time.
Our home is another story. We bought our house three years ago—not a total fixer-upper, but definitely not my dream home. While we’ve made some improvements, budget constraints have prevented us from fully transforming it into the beautiful space I know it could become.
I’m grateful for our warm, safe home, though I wouldn’t say it would win any awards for curb appeal. If I had to sum it up, I’d say we’re a happy family living in a cozy house that’s not exactly a showstopper.
But here’s a surprise: let me share how my child views it. Just yesterday, while we were driving, my eight-year-old asked if I think we’ll still live in this house when he grows up. I replied honestly—I’m not sure. We don’t have plans to move right now, but it’s a possibility for the future. I was expecting him to ask for an upgrade in our next home.
Instead, he asked if he could buy this house from whoever owns it when he has his first child. “I want my kids to know what it feels like to live in the best house in the whole world for kids.”
In that instant, my heart swelled, and tears came to my eyes. I promised him that if we still lived here, I would let him buy our house so his children could grow up in it. The tears flowed freely. Being a parent is tough, especially after the bizarre, tumultuous year we’ve all experienced. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that he was happy until he said it.
Where I see a modest house with its imperfections, he perceives “the best house in the whole world.” He’s been to plenty of homes I’d label as nicer than ours—friends residing in sprawling mansions, family with a pool, and beach access. He’s even seen shows about ultimate dream homes with indoor slides and extravagant features.
But to him, this little house is perfect because it’s not about the house itself. He doesn’t notice the beige siding I’d love to replace, the muddy driveway needing gravel, or the cracked path leading to the porch. He doesn’t mind the unfinished DIY kitchen remodel or our hand-me-down furniture.
What he feels is love.
Sure, there are moments when I raise my voice about wet towels and leftover snacks. My kids have chores to do, and sometimes they resist showering. But this is also where I’ve taught them to bake cookies, where they can run around in capes and battle imaginary villains, and where they’ve discovered the joy of water balloons on hot summer days. In this home, they can express their sadness without worrying that it makes them seem “babyish.” There’s no other place where my cozy bed and open arms are available to comfort my children if they wake up feeling cold or lonely.
I’m sure you can relate to this experience. Many of us parents wonder if we’re doing it right most of the time. Despite our best efforts, we question if our attempts to create magic are successful. We go to bed promising ourselves to be more patient tomorrow. We feel like we’re racing around, trying to keep the house in order, only to find endless things to fix at the end of the day.
Those muddy jeans, the dust accumulating on surfaces, and our own neglected self-care can make us feel inadequate. Each day seems to bring new opportunities for self-critique.
But your kids don’t see these things. Every so often, they remind you of all the ways you’re succeeding as a parent. They don’t know about the late-night worries; they help you recognize where you’re getting it exactly right.
The countless small, wonderful things we do as parents accumulate in ways we can hardly fathom. Our children feel happy and secure in the love we provide.
From the joy in their faces as they run to the car after school to the colorful band-aids for scraped knees, every story we read together, every movie night, and every carefully chosen gift shows them that we want the best for them.
When my son said our house is the best place for kids to grow up, I felt lucky. But he’s mistaken; it’s not the best house in the world for kids. It’s the best house for MY kids because it’s filled with love.
If you ask your kids, I’m sure they’ll say the same about your home, no matter if it’s a sprawling estate or a cozy abode like mine.
I know that hearing you’re doing a great job won’t solve financial issues or erase any past trauma. It won’t simplify co-parenting or reduce the stresses of parenting. But it’s vital for every parent to step back and acknowledge all the ways they’re getting it right. Creating a loving home where your children can be their true selves transforms any house into “the best house in the world for kids.” I genuinely believe that.
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In summary, the essence of parenting isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about the love and support we provide. Our children may not notice the imperfections in our homes or our struggles as parents, but they feel safe and cherished in the environments we create for them. No matter the challenges we face, our efforts to nurture and love our kids make all the difference.