If you’re a new parent struggling to accomplish anything with a baby around, rest assured that you’re completely normal. It’s perfectly okay to lower your expectations and focus on the essentials. If your little one is fed and content while your household chores are piling up, that’s quite alright.
Did you manage to send your kids off to work or daycare in clean clothes this week, only to return home and slip into those same sweatpants? Trust me, you’re not alone. If you’re lucky to squeeze in a daily shower, don’t stress about creative pursuits right now—embracing the bare minimum is a reality many of us share. We’re all in this together, likely sporting leggings with questionable stains and doing our best to navigate this new chapter of life.
Adjusting to Life with a Baby
Having a baby requires a significant adjustment period. Your body has changed, sleep is scarce, and there’s a unique level of fatigue that comes with constantly meeting someone else’s needs—there’s literally no moment when a baby can be left unsupervised. If you’re not managing everything the way you used to, know that this experience is incredibly common, and you’re doing just fine. Take shortcuts where you can, simplify tasks, and don’t feel guilty about it.
Of course, most of us cannot dedicate ourselves solely to baby care 24/7. We have jobs to attend to, homes to maintain, and yes, hygiene matters too. That’s why it’s crucial to accept the bare minimum for now. Some tasks must be accomplished—everyone knows that. This isn’t the time to push yourself beyond your limits. You can revisit the idea of doing everything perfectly once your baby grows a little more independent.
Letting Things Slide
If you’re feeling any sort of pressure, whether self-imposed or from external sources, to be more productive while caring for an infant, it’s perfectly acceptable to let some things slide.
Now, I can already envision that one person who might read this and feel the need to judge our bare-minimum lifestyle. To you, the supermom who seems to manage everything effortlessly with a baby by your side, save your breath. If you thrive under pressure and find it easy to juggle tasks, that’s great for you. Just understand that not everyone operates the same way. Some of us need to take things at our own pace.
Choosing Your Priorities
The truth is, it’s not that I can’t do it all—it’s that I choose not to. Caring for a baby is incredibly demanding, and I feel justified in viewing it as my primary responsibility. Everything else is secondary. My partner is supportive and understands that I don’t need to meet unrealistic standards. If I devote time to cuddling my baby or reading her stories instead of cleaning, that’s not wasted time—it’s quality time.
This message isn’t just for first-time moms; each time you welcome a new baby into your family, you begin anew. You deserve time to heal and adapt after each birth, however that looks for you.
Finding Your Rhythm
As someone who works from home and has two school-age kids along with a baby, I can tell you that I’m often working from bed, with my laptop on my lap and my little one by my side. Initially, I envisioned a peaceful work environment, but life had other plans. Now, a year later, I’m only just starting to find my rhythm again. And by “rhythm,” I mean recognizing that while I may not have everything under control, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. This chaotic phase won’t last forever.
Many mothers share this struggle of productivity after welcoming a new baby. For about a year and a half after each child’s arrival, I’ve adopted a bare minimum approach. My focus is on taking good care of my kids and managing work without feeling overwhelmed. Everything else? Good enough is just fine.
Societal Expectations
I’ve realized that societal expectations for new moms can be unrealistic. We shouldn’t feel pressured to maintain our previous lives as if nothing has changed. For now, I’m ensuring that nothing falls completely apart, and that’s perfectly acceptable. I’ll ramp things up when my baby is a bit older.
Additional Resources
For more insights on home insemination and related topics, you can check out our post on home insemination. Also, if you’re looking for fertility-boosting ideas, Make a Mom has some great resources. Additionally, ACOG offers excellent information on treating infertility.
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Conclusion
In summary, adjusting to life with a new baby can be overwhelming and often leads to a need to lower expectations. Embracing a bare minimum approach allows parents to focus on the essentials while accepting that not everything will be perfect. It’s vital to prioritize self-care and quality time with your baby over maintaining pre-baby standards.