The other night, I finally voiced my feelings to my partner, Alex, after we had just finished intimate time together. For us, “finishing” typically means Alex reaches his climax, while I spend an exhausting hour trying to get there myself with the help of my vibrators. He usually settles in with a book next to me, offering support. “Do you want me to help?” he asks after he’s done. “No,” I often reply. That particular evening, I flopped down on the bed, feeling overheated and maybe a little flushed. As I headed to clean my vibrator, Alex asked, “Did it work?” I sighed, “Yeah, but honestly, it wasn’t worth it.”
He looked at me, clearly taken aback. “Are you serious?”
I continued, “The sex itself was fantastic—exactly how I like it. I appreciate that he always caters to my preferences. But the reality is, I rarely reach orgasm without my vibrator, and it takes forever. An hour of effort just to get a mediocre result? It’s really not worth it. This isn’t about you; it’s just how things are for me. I’m sorry if that’s confusing. If you’re ever wondering why we don’t have more sex, this is it.” With that, I walked into the bathroom, feeling a mix of frustration and sadness.
Why Is Sex Not Worth It?
I take medication for my mental health, specifically an SSRI, which can make achieving orgasm incredibly challenging. It doesn’t dampen my desire for sex, though. I often wear my cute underwear and hop into bed, eager for intimacy. We have plenty of foreplay—Alex is attentive and responsive to my needs, fulfilling my requests, from playful bondage to dirty talk. He finishes, then it’s my turn to chase after satisfaction alone.
I turn down Alex’s offers of help, fearing he’ll get tired and I’ll feel guilty. Sometimes he stays nearby, sometimes he leaves. I find myself fumbling with multiple vibrators as they often run out of batteries, and the process turns tedious. Yes, it feels nice, but after long periods of time, I can’t help but wonder how much longer I’ll be at it. I get close to climax, only to lose momentum. When I finally do reach orgasm, it’s far from the fireworks I used to experience—definitely not worth a whole hour of effort when I could just fall asleep.
When I Choose Not To Try
At times, I simply don’t bother. I’d rather rest than spend an hour trying to reach an elusive high. I ask Alex to hand me my pajamas that I discarded earlier, which leads to that awkward moment of needing to pee, adding to my discomfort. I’m left with a restlessness that makes it difficult to sleep, feeling both aroused and unsatisfied. Eventually, I drift off, wishing for the days when intimacy was easier, recalling the joy of multiple orgasms followed by peaceful slumber. Now, it just feels like a burden, and I resent that. I know Alex feels inadequate, though he tries to hide it.
Medical Frustrations
It’s not Alex’s fault, nor anyone else’s—just the quirks of my brain chemistry. While medications like Viagra exist for men, there are few effective options for women. I’ve tried alternatives, like a pill I borrowed from a friend, but to no avail. Switching medications might help, but I’ve found alternatives that don’t work for me either. I’m left feeling trapped between emotional struggles and disappointing sexual experiences.
I make an effort for Alex, trying to engage in intimacy a couple of times a week, even if it feels like a chore. I keep my vibrators charged and ready, but the results are often underwhelming. The pleasure I once experienced is now just a faint memory, and it’s a frustrating reality to live with. I suspect I’m not alone in this experience.
For more insights on this topic, check out this article on home insemination and learn about resources available at CDC’s page on reproductive health. If you’re interested in resources for couples exploring their fertility journey, visit Make a Mom.
Potential Search Queries:
- How to achieve orgasm with medication?
- Struggles with intimacy due to SSRIs.
- Tips for enhancing sexual pleasure.
- Emotional effects of sexual dissatisfaction.
- Alternatives for women’s sexual health.
In summary, navigating intimacy can be complex, especially when medications make reaching satisfaction challenging. While the connection with a partner remains strong, the effort required for personal pleasure can sometimes overshadow the joy of intimacy.