Hey there! I heard about the upcoming baby shower to celebrate the little one who shares your DNA. I trust I’m on the guest list? While some folks roll their eyes at baby shower invites, I’m all in. I adore witnessing a community rally around an expectant mom, sipping mocktails in a church basement at one in the afternoon. And yes, I even enjoy that ridiculous game of “guess which melted candy bar is in the diaper”—it’s hilarious!
One common activity at baby showers is when guests jot down life-after-baby advice on notecards. These are then compiled into a charming album for the new mom. I’m fine with this, except for when I see advice like, “sleep when the baby sleeps.” What if the baby doesn’t sleep, Karen? Here’s the kicker: dads often miss out on receiving the same level of guidance. Some of you really could use it.
Lucky for you, I’m here to help. Let’s grab a drink, and I’ll share how to navigate this parenthood thing without losing your mind—or your manhood.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
First off, new parenthood is challenging for dads too. Your feelings about this transition matter, and ignoring them won’t help anyone. Find a therapist to help you navigate these emotions. If that’s not in your budget, reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Just don’t offload your feelings onto your child’s mother—she’s got her own challenges, like recovery from childbirth and emotional upheaval. Share your struggles, but don’t complain. Get professional help, and work through your past issues. Address any unhealthy coping mechanisms, whether it’s gambling, excessive drinking, or screen time, and commit to living authentically with your partner and baby.
2. Build Emotional Connections
Forge emotional intimacy with people outside your partner, especially other dads. Society often teaches men to suppress emotions, but it’s crucial to connect with others. A diverse support system will benefit you and the women in your life.
3. Adapt to Changes in Your Sex Life
It’s no secret that your sex life will shift after the baby arrives. Accept it—talk it out with a therapist if needed. Understand that your partner may have little interest in sex. It doesn’t mean she loves you any less; she’s just tired and healing. Communication is key. Use this time to grow closer and explore intimacy in new ways. But remember: pressuring her for sex or seeking it elsewhere will end badly.
4. Prioritize Hobbies and Leisure Time
While pursuing hobbies is vital for your mental health, don’t forget it’s equally important for your partner. You can’t devote the same hours to your pastimes as you did before baby. Adjust your expectations and ensure she gets her fair share of downtime. If you plan to hit the golf course, better have that baby in a carrier with you!
5. Reassess the Division of Labor
Now is the time to re-evaluate how you divide responsibilities. Even if you believe you’re more involved than your father was, there’s likely room for improvement. Look at the free time each partner has. If you think any time off work equals “me time,” think again. In parenthood, you work your job and then come home to do more work.
Imagine being a new mom, sleep-deprived and overwhelmed, while your partner comes home after a long shift proclaiming he needs to rest. Do the dishes, clean the bathroom, and hold the baby so your partner can take care of herself. If you truly can’t manage, reach out to your support network for help. Then, take a nap together.
And before you snooze, remind her she’s a beautiful and inspiring human being. If you take my advice, she just might reciprocate!
For more insights, check out this article on pregnancy, or explore fertility tips to enhance your journey. And if you’re interested in more about home insemination, our other blog post has you covered.