Don’t hesitate to take your child to the dentist, even if you expect they may need significant work. My four-year-old has already undergone so much dental treatment. He has four crowns and eight fillings in his little mouth, with another appointment scheduled for next week. He even has a filling in his front tooth that he’s knocked out twice! We’re on track for a crown for that one as well.
I recognize how fortunate we are that my partner’s job provides excellent dental insurance. It’s also a blessing that our child is cooperative, which means he doesn’t need sedation, keeping costs down. Even with these advantages, his dental bills have been substantial, and I can’t imagine how much more stressful this situation would be if we couldn’t afford the necessary care. It’s disheartening that financial barriers exist in healthcare, including dental services, and we have a long journey ahead to ensure everyone can afford appropriate dental care.
I’m thankful we can cover the crowns and fillings our son needs, but admitting the extent of his dental work is tough because I know some may assume it’s a hygiene issue. Many might think I’m not brushing or flossing enough. Those assumptions are incorrect and frankly rude. Ask any parent whose child, like mine, seems to get cavities no matter how careful they are!
My eldest son has never had any dental problems. He visits the dentist twice a year, always receives a clean bill of health, and leaves with a new toothbrush and instructions to maintain his routine. Now eight, he enjoys his dental visits, and his teeth are bright and healthy.
Because my oldest has had no issues, I didn’t rush to the dentist with my second child. He was around three or four for his first visit, and to my surprise, he already had a visible cavity in one of his molars! He wouldn’t sit still for X-rays, but the dentist addressed what he could see, and we scheduled a follow-up for six months later.
Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, we missed that appointment. My youngest didn’t see the dentist six months after his initial visit. We felt safer at home, and I thought his little teeth could manage a few more months without a check-up since it hadn’t been an issue for his older brother.
One morning while flossing my youngest’s teeth, I spotted a cavity forming between his front teeth. I was taken aback. How could this happen? We are so diligent about his dental hygiene! We never skip brushing or flossing, avoid sugary drinks, and our kids never had bottles or cups in bed, even as infants.
I called the dentist and arranged an appointment for the following day. For some reason, I felt nervous and ashamed. I feared the dentist would scold me or doubt my commitment to my child’s dental care. I didn’t want him to think I was an irresponsible mother or that my kids weren’t receiving the care they needed.
At the appointment, I was devastated to learn that not only did my son have the cavity I noticed, but many of his other teeth required work, too! I nearly cried, feeling like a terrible mother. How could my son have so many dental issues without me realizing?
I assured the dentist that I took good care of my son’s teeth, which only added to my confusion and frustration.
I shouldn’t have been so distressed. Our dentist explained that unfortunately, some children are simply more prone to cavities. He reassured me that I was doing a great job caring for my son’s dental health. There are many factors involved, and oral hygiene is just one aspect of the bigger picture.
While it can be embarrassing and disheartening to have a child who needs crowns, fillings, and possibly root canals, dentists are not judging you for your child’s dental needs. Pediatric dentists exist because children’s teeth can sometimes fail, even with diligent care.
It’s essential not to feel embarrassed or reluctant to take your child to the dentist. Dr. Emily Carter, a family dentist from New Jersey, shared some insights with us to help alleviate the anxiety and guilt surrounding a child requiring extensive dental work.
“Sometimes, teeth can be more susceptible to decay, despite careful hygiene practices,” she explains. “This may be due to the calcium and mineral content of the enamel influenced by systemic conditions during tooth formation. For instance, if an infant has a fever or illness during the development of their teeth, it can lead to enamel defects causing discoloration and an increased risk of decay.”
In other words, dentists are experts in dental health. They understand that despite your best efforts to maintain oral hygiene, some teeth may still encounter issues. My little one suffered from chronic ear infections and high fevers throughout infancy. Had I known this could affect his teeth, it might have lessened my guilt and anxiety.
Dr. Carter advises establishing a relationship with a dentist as soon as the first tooth appears. “Every infant should see a dentist by the time their first teeth erupt, typically around six months old. This early visit helps parents seek advice on proper oral hygiene for their baby,” she notes. Regular visits every six months allow for monitoring of enamel condition and early detection of any potential issues.
Most importantly, Dr. Carter wants parents to know that whatever a dentist discovers in your child’s mouth, they are not judging your parenting. They are there to help! “Despite the best oral hygiene and healthy diets, some children’s teeth may still develop decay and require fillings. Prevention and early detection are key to ensuring the least invasive procedures.”
Continue taking your kids for dental check-ups, maintain good brushing and flossing habits, and do your best. But remember, cavities can happen regardless of your efforts.
Above all, ensure you don’t pass your anxieties onto your children. Even if you suspect your child may need significant work, don’t skip a visit out of fear, and avoid dreading dental appointments. “Parents should always present dental visits positively and without fear, refraining from conveying their own anxieties to their children,” Dr. Carter encourages.
Having a child with multiple cavities can be stressful and even embarrassing, but a compassionate dentist will not only fix your child’s teeth but also reassure and support you. Sometimes, you can do everything right, and your child’s teeth may still need some care. There’s no reason to feel ashamed—it doesn’t reflect your parenting. That’s what dentists are there for.
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Summary:
It’s common for children to require dental work, and parents should not feel embarrassed about it. Many factors contribute to dental health beyond simple hygiene practices. Building a positive relationship with a dentist early on and maintaining regular check-ups can help manage and prevent issues. Don’t let anxiety or guilt influence your child’s dental visits; dentists are there to help, not judge.