On Saturday mornings, I grab sodas with my 13-year-old son, Alex, and we drive around our quaint Oregon town playing Pokémon Go. At this age, he shows little enthusiasm for most of my suggestions, but this activity prompts him to dash down the stairs and jump into the car at 7 a.m. I understand some of you might wonder why so early? However, I’m an early riser while the rest of the family tends to sleep in. This time is truly special for Alex and me; there are no distractions from his younger siblings, and we usually return home before anyone else is awake.
I can’t pinpoint how it all began. One morning, both of us were awake, and I asked if he wanted to do something together. Now, that excitement every Saturday morning has become the highlight of my week. More importantly, it has allowed us to engage in meaningful one-on-one conversations about life and the pandemic, fostering a connection that is incredibly important during this period.
A couple of weeks ago, we were on our way to a Pokémon raid, hoping to catch something special. He was chatting away, using terms I didn’t fully grasp, so I simply nodded along and followed his lead—typical for our outings. I confess I don’t completely understand everything about the game, but I’m learning. While Alex is focused on the Pokémon, I’m there for the dialogue. In between his gaming talk, he opened up about Zoom classes and his longing for friends. Last October, we faced a health scare with my partner and he shared how frightened he felt when she was hospitalized and how surreal it was to celebrate Halloween without her. I listened, asking a few questions and validating his feelings about the past year.
As we headed home, I initially thought the morning had been quite ordinary, just another day of Pokémon hunting. That was until Alex looked at me and said, “Thanks for listening.” The early morning light was dim, but I caught a glimpse of moisture in his eyes—not quite tears, but close. I didn’t say anything, yet it became evident in that moment that the last year had weighed heavily on him. With online schooling, a health crisis in the family, and the stress of navigating a pandemic, he had been going through a lot. Our Pokémon adventures served as a safe space for him to express himself.
Once we got home, I parked the van and gave him a warm hug. “I’m always here if you need to talk,” I reassured him. He nodded, smiled faintly, wiped his face with his hoodie, and headed inside. I stayed in the van for a moment, realizing how vital it was for me to simply be present for him.
Not every outing for sodas and Pokémon is so impactful; sometimes we drive around in silence. Yet, the key is that we’re together, and he has the chance to share what’s on his mind. These mornings have given him a platform to discuss the challenges he’s faced. He’s a teenager living through an unprecedented time, and that’s no easy feat.
For all the parents out there raising teens during these trying times, my advice is to carve out time to be with them. Whether it’s going for ice cream, taking a walk, or enjoying a drive with music, find a way to connect. I’ve been fortunate with this Pokémon Go adventure, but any shared experience where you can engage in casual conversations can make a difference. Your child may not open up as readily as Alex did, but providing them the opportunity to do so in a relaxed setting is crucial right now. Everyone has faced a tough year, including our teenagers.
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Summary:
Bonding with teenagers during challenging times, particularly amidst a pandemic, is crucial. Engaging in activities that allow for open communication can foster significant connections. Simple outings, like grabbing sodas or playing games, provide opportunities for teens to share their feelings and experiences, which can lead to deeper understanding and support.