The other day, my partner and I logged onto our insurance provider’s website to complete a survey about COVID-19 vaccine eligibility. My partner went first, as she’s considered high-risk after a hospital visit last October due to sepsis. In addition, she works as a teaching assistant at our kids’ school and previously taught gardening classes. After filling out the survey, she received information about setting up her vaccination appointment soon.
Then it was my turn. I think I made it through three questions before the system essentially told me, “You’re not eligible for the vaccine right now.” Well… maybe it was phrased more diplomatically, but the bottom line is clear: I’m in my late 30s, have no existing health issues, and my job allows me to work from home. In short, I’ve got a wait ahead of me, while my partner is ready to go. Honestly, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. It seems I’m not alone; many couples are experiencing similar feelings.
A frequent scenario involves senior couples where there’s a significant age difference. The Wall Street Journal even published an article featuring several couples in their 60s and 70s, where the older partner received their vaccine while the younger one had to wait. One striking case was of Clara Smith, who is 64 (and a half, as she emphasizes). She barely missed the eligibility cutoff in her state, while her 78-year-old husband was vaccinated. When she asked her doctor if there was any way she could get the vaccine now, he bluntly told her, “You’re in the SOL group.” Just to clarify, SOL means “out of luck.” This straightforward comment reflects a common sentiment among many people eager to get vaccinated but stuck waiting.
At least that’s how I feel. Recently, while out for a stroll, I bumped into an old friend who works at a hospital. She was venting about how the second vaccine shot really knocked her off her feet, and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of envy while internally rolling my eyes.
Experts suggest that such feelings of envy are completely normal. It’s a psychological struggle as we all try to protect ourselves until more vaccines are available. Eric Zillmer, a neuropsychology professor at Drexel University, and Susan Whitbourne, a professor emeritus of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, addressed the issue of vaccine envy in a recent Washington Post article.
Whitbourne offered some valuable advice for those grappling with envy as they watch friends and family get vaccinated while they wait. She said, “Don’t pretend you don’t feel this, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. People often say, ‘I’m a bad person for resenting that Grandma got vaccinated.’ You’re not bad.” It’s important to acknowledge these feelings, as being emotionally honest can help combat envy.
Zillmer added that we should focus on the bigger picture. “If everyone gets vaccinated, it benefits us all, right? We often forget that; we’re too focused on our own situation. But the vaccination process only works if everyone participates,” he noted, referring to the goal of achieving herd immunity. We can’t reach this goal without widespread vaccination, so when someone eligible gets their shot, it ultimately helps everyone.
I recently had an online session with my therapist where I expressed that one of the toughest aspects of living through a pandemic is the lack of things to look forward to. He paused, thought it over, and then provided a comforting reality check. While things may seem bleak now, he reassured me that by this time next year, we should be back to a more normal life. That thought brought a smile to my face, and I recalled a recent statement from Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, who said, “By April, we should see what I would call ‘open season,’ where virtually everyone will be eligible for vaccination.”
While time may feel like it’s dragging on during the pandemic, as I write this at the end of February, April isn’t that far off. There’s hope that this vaccine envy will soon fade. In the meantime, let’s strive to remain optimistic, knowing that there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel — even if some reach it before us.
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In summary, while feelings of vaccine envy are common and understandable, it’s important to recognize these feelings as normal. As we wait for our turn, focusing on the bigger picture and remaining hopeful can help us navigate these challenging times.