After the arrival of my little ones, I found myself spiraling into the pursuit of being the ideal mom. Every meal was crafted to showcase nutritional perfection, screen time was meticulously monitored according to pediatric guidelines, and bedtime routines were executed with military precision. Heaven help the mother-in-law who suggested cutting corners on naptime.
Then I returned to work, and everything spiraled out of control. Meals transitioned from gourmet flaxseed-infused pasta to quick frozen pizzas from the store. Our once regimented screen time turned into me dozing on the couch while my oldest demonstrated LEGO Star Wars controls to his sister. Bath time became less about a schedule and more about how badly they needed it.
And you know what? It was liberating! Sure, I struggled with mom guilt, which felt as heavy as lead, but guilt is just a part of motherhood. Why add more stress to my life? My home may have looked like a tornado hit it, laundry was piled high enough to lose a child in, and dog hair rolled across the floor like tumbleweeds, but I felt fantastic! I found myself yelling less, smiling more, and my kids were thriving.
Then it struck me… if my kids could defeat imaginary villains in video games, surely they could handle some self-care. Did I really need to monitor every morsel of food they consumed? Would they suffer if they got their own cereal on a Saturday morning instead of dragging me out of bed? So what if they made a mess? They could clean it up, and if they didn’t, well, we’d notice the smell eventually!
Before long, snacks filled the lower shelves of the pantry, and kid-friendly plates and cups were moved to easy-to-reach cabinets. My label maker—once gathering dust—was now working overtime. I labeled everything: toy bins, clothes drawers, kitchen cabinets. The downside? My youngest found delight in labeling everything from the dog’s bowls to doorknobs, turning my house into a chaotic classroom.
Despite the labeling mishap, my lazy parenting style paid off. Over the years, my kids graduated from munching on fruits and Goldfish crackers to cooking their own fish sticks and stovetop mac-and-cheese. Even better, my daughter’s relentless pursuit of chocolate led her to teach herself baking. Her early attempts may have resembled charcoal, but she has now turned baking into a science. My waistline might never recover!
But it’s not just about food and hygiene; I also take a relaxed approach to their education. I don’t track homework or remind them about tests. If they miss an assignment, they get a zero. That’s just how life is. Of course, I want them to excel academically; after all, I expect straight A’s (and an occasional B). It’s a bit hypocritical, given my own academic struggles, but I digress.
My kids are as obsessed with video games as I am with coffee. If I could have coffee flowing directly into my veins, I’d be thrilled. Likewise, if my children could have video games wired into their brains, they’d be in paradise. But just like I become a monster without my morning coffee, they are miserable without their games. That’s where my power as their mother comes in (cue the evil laughter). I have the power to unplug them. Watching them mope without their controllers is painful, but it works every time.
For other relaxed moms out there, you might see where this is going. For those perfectionists gasping in horror, let me spell it out: our success as parents isn’t measured by how frequently we do our kids’ homework or whether they only snack on healthy foods. It’s about preparing them for life when we’re not there to help.
Now at twelve and fifteen, my kids can cook basic meals, run the dishwasher, and do their own laundry. They wake up on their own, turn in assignments, and make their own lunches. They understand that I won’t swoop in to rescue them because part of growing up is facing the consequences of their actions. When they eventually venture out into the world, they’ll be equipped with the skills needed for adulthood—all thanks to their laid-back mom. Though, admittedly, they might still have a bit of a smell.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Plus, if you’re on a fertility journey, consider visiting this other blog post that might help.
Summary
This article highlights the benefits of a more relaxed approach to parenting. After struggling to meet the expectations of perfection, the author embraces a laid-back style, allowing her children to learn self-sufficiency and responsibility. As they grow, they acquire essential life skills that will prepare them for adulthood, demonstrating that sometimes, being a “lazy” mom can lead to greater independence for children.