My Worth Isn’t Defined By My Earning Potential

I live with disabilities—many of them, in fact—but my bipolar II disorder is the most challenging and often exacerbates the others. These challenges aren’t visible to the eye. To manage them, I rely on a variety of medications, but they aren’t a cure-all. Anxiety frequently overwhelms me, making even simple tasks feel insurmountable. Working a traditional eight-hour job outside my home is simply not feasible. In our current capitalist society, the inability to maintain a full-time job often leads to being viewed as valueless or a burden.

Society imposes a harsh belief that everyone must contribute economically. A recent NBC poll found that an alarming 84% of Americans think being unemployed is shameful. While I am not unemployed—I maintain a full-time writing career—my inability to work outside my home or adhere to a rigid schedule leads many to dismiss my work as a mere hobby rather than a legitimate job.

The Pain of Feeling Valueless

Living with a disability is a significant struggle. Those of us with mental health issues often come to terms with our limitations. There are certain tasks I simply cannot manage, and that reality is painful. I find it difficult to thrive in high-anxiety environments, which makes a typical workday feel impossible. The expectations placed upon me can be overwhelming. Can I meet them? Will I? What happens if I don’t? This cycle of worry can lead to a downward spiral.

Fortunately, I can write and work from home on my own terms. I strive to be an involved mom (though opinions may vary). We homeschool our children. Yet, in the eyes of society, this work holds little value. According to The Times in England, many share this sentiment about writers:

It’s disheartening when your contributions are dismissed. During social gatherings, other moms often treat my writing as an adorable pastime. Even when I speak with editors, they seem to view my dedication as quaint. My former professors, who once envisioned me achieving academic success while penning the Great American Novel, now regard me as a brilliant failure, their thoughts echoing, “What a shame she struggled.”

But I refuse to see myself as a failure. My life has meaning and purpose. Though I’ve adjusted my dreams along the way, that doesn’t equate to an absence of worth.

The Struggle Against Societal Judgments

In a world that equates productivity with value, those of us who cannot maintain a traditional work schedule are often deemed weak. This perceived weakness leads to the belief that we don’t deserve certain benefits. For instance, my Social Security benefits will be significantly lower than someone who has worked a standard 9-to-5 throughout their life. Some might argue that this is fair because they’ve “worked harder” than I have.

The truth is, their labor is seen as having more worth. Yes, I earn money from my writing, but I also homeschool and nurture my children without pay. I am active; I have responsibilities. While I may not fit into the corporate mold, I am fully engaged in educating my children, managing our home, and volunteering when I can.

Being labeled as someone who “only” writes or “only” stays home with the kids implies that I don’t contribute to society. In a capitalist framework, if you don’t earn a paycheck, you’re often seen as worthless. It’s a well-known fact that women’s work, particularly in the home, is undervalued. Even fellow stay-at-home moms who understand my disabilities may silently judge me. They know there have been times when my husband had to step in to care for our kids—not due to physical illness, but because I was struggling mentally. This leads to the assumption that I’m simply lazy or failing as a mother and wife.

Recognizing My Inherent Value

When society bombards you with messages that you are insignificant, it’s easy to internalize those beliefs. I often think that my family would be better off without me, as the world suggests that my inability to work full-time makes me less valuable. In this view, a mother who can work, manage the household, and care for her children is superior.

But here’s the truth: I don’t have to justify my existence through productivity. I have worth, regardless of my output. As a human being, I deserve respect, dignity, and care. I should not be measured against a capitalist standard that ranks individuals by income. Do we want to live in a world where a person’s value is determined solely by their paycheck?

If I am deemed worthless for not working a traditional job, then what about the elderly or infants? Should society disregard them, too? No! We should recognize that everyone, regardless of their ability to contribute economically, deserves to live with dignity and joy.

While my bipolar II disorder may prevent me from holding a conventional job, it doesn’t diminish my life’s significance. I deserve affection, care, and respect. It’s not always easy to maintain this perspective, especially during tough times when anxiety takes over or energy wanes. But needing time to recuperate doesn’t equate to a lack of value.

I matter. My disabilities may be invisible, but my worth is undeniable. My financial contributions to my family’s well-being do not define who I am.

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Summary:

The author reflects on the societal perceptions of value, particularly regarding individuals with disabilities. They emphasize that worth is not solely determined by financial contributions and challenge the stigma surrounding unemployment and non-traditional work. The piece advocates for recognizing intrinsic value beyond productivity and highlights the importance of dignity and respect for all individuals.