Sex has never been a point of tension in my relationship. While many couples grapple with differing sexual appetites, my partner and I have always been on the same page—eager for intimacy almost every day for nearly two decades. However, everything changes when I’m nursing a newborn.
With three children under my belt, I’ve experienced firsthand how breastfeeding can completely extinguish my sexual desire. My libido seems to vanish entirely, leaving me feeling disconnected from my body during the entire nursing phase. Not only does breastfeeding diminish my desire to engage intimately, but it also complicates achieving orgasm. Even under the best circumstances, it can take an eternity to reach that moment of pleasure.
Fortunately, my partner, Alex, is understanding and patient. He knows it’s not just my sex life that’s impacted; it’s ours together. During the breastfeeding period, my body feels overworked and constantly touched out, leaving little room for intimacy. A breastfeeding baby is relentless, always demanding attention: “Hungry? Need a snack! Tired? Time for a nap on the breast! Scared? Only a few sips of milk will fix that!”
However, there’s a silver lining. As each of my children nears their first birthday, my body begins to return to its normal self. Gradually, the nursing sessions decrease, and my desire starts to creep back. My youngest just turned one, and with only a couple of feedings a day now, I’m feeling rejuvenated—thank you, tubal ligation!
Recently, as I woke up to see Alex, fresh from the shower, I felt a rush of energy. I was suddenly wide awake and ready for action, despite the clock ticking down. I couldn’t shake the thought of him all morning. After sending a cheeky text during his lunch break, I made sure the kids were preoccupied when he arrived home. I had never seen him undress so quickly!
For the first time in over a year, my body responded to him as it used to. The experience was effortless and fulfilling, and he playfully remarked, “Welcome back.” This moment was especially significant for me, considering my increasing worries about my body’s ability to bounce back after three pregnancies in quick succession.
Since then, I’ve embraced more intimate moments, even sneaking in some action before dawn, despite my usual aversion to early mornings. It seems I’ve discovered a newfound love for intimacy that surpasses my dislike for waking up early!
All this renewed affection has made me feel more like myself again. I’ve noticed a decline in my irritability, and my anxiety feels more manageable. The endorphins from intimate moments make everything seem less overwhelming. It’s empowering to witness my body’s journey from postpartum to a place of strength and health.
There’s nothing wrong with taking time to adjust to motherhood and its demands. It’s perfectly normal to prioritize rest over romance when you’re sleep-deprived from late-night feedings. There’s no set timeline for regaining your sexual appetite; it took me about a year to feel like things were back on track with my supportive partner.
If you’re struggling to feel sexy after having a baby, don’t fall into the trap of mourning your lost youth. One day, you’ll find yourself enjoying those intimate moments again, even if the background music is the cheerful tune of a children’s song. You’ll learn to tune out distractions and reconnect with your partner, just like before parenthood.
For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood and intimacy, check out other posts on related topics, including how to successfully approach at-home insemination.