Over a decade ago, I faced my second miscarriage, which was not my last. While the intensity of that grief has lessened over the years, it never truly disappears. Yes, it is grief—real and undeniable. Each mother’s experience with miscarriage varies, and even within individual experiences, feelings can differ significantly. I endured pregnancy loss three times, and each was a distinct journey. My first loss, an early miscarriage often referred to as a chemical pregnancy, caught me off guard. It felt strange and surreal to mourn something I hadn’t fully recognized as mine.
The second miscarriage was marked by multiple doctor visits, weeks filled with false hope, and ultimately, a D&C procedure. I felt the weight of that loss heavily, yet grieved in silence. As a stay-at-home mom at the time, I had no workplace to disclose my pain to. The solitude of my grief was overwhelming; I coped through long walks with my dogs and toddler, immersing myself in self-help books, and occasionally letting my son watch too much television.
What compounded the pain was the societal expectation to “just move on”—after all, miscarriages are common. But grieving is essential; we shouldn’t rush past it. This is why New Zealand’s recent miscarriage bereavement leave law is so vital. It not only addresses the financial implications for families—an undeniably significant aspect—but also validates the emotional turmoil that follows a pregnancy loss.
As Ginny Anderson, the politician behind the bill, explained, “The bill will give women and their partners time to come to terms with their loss without having to tap into sick leave. Because their grief is not a sickness. It is a loss. And loss takes time.” This recognition is crucial. I too hope this law encourages lawmakers, especially in the U.S., to understand the importance of bereavement leave for miscarriage. Mental health experts agree that this bill symbolizes acknowledgment of the profound impact of such losses.
Historically, women have suffered miscarriages and stillbirths in silence, often feeling isolated and ashamed. While we’ve made progress, the stigma surrounding miscarriage persists, particularly in professional settings. Despite sharing my experiences online, I hesitated to discuss my losses on platforms like LinkedIn, where colleagues might see it. Why? Because acknowledging my miscarriages in a professional context felt daunting. This reluctance underscores the importance of laws like New Zealand’s, which foster an environment where women can express their grief without fear of judgment.
When we fail to recognize the significance of pregnancy loss, we inadvertently communicate that such pain is trivial. Women are left to bear this burden alone, often masking their sorrow as they navigate their careers. A healthy workplace allows individuals to bring their whole selves to work—embracing their joy, grief, and everything in between.
New Zealand’s law goes beyond economic impact; it sends a powerful message to women and those who have experienced pregnancy loss: “I see your pain. You are whole and deserving of support.” There is nothing more essential—or more powerful—than that acknowledgment.
For more insights on how to navigate these challenges, feel free to check out this related post. If you’re exploring options for home insemination, you can visit Cryobaby’s comprehensive kits for assistance. Additionally, this Wikipedia entry is an excellent resource for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.