I sometimes find myself in tears. “I’m not sure I want to go back,” I confess to my partner. “What if when we finally can do things again, I just don’t want to?” My struggles with severe social anxiety have been somewhat alleviated by the pandemic, which provided a shield from playdates and awkward small talk. Reopening anxiety is a genuine concern for me, as well as for many others dealing with various forms of anxiety, such as social anxiety, OCD, and depression.
What if I’ve lost the ability to interact with others? My ADHD already complicates social situations, making it hard to navigate conversations. Has the pandemic worsened my struggles? Even if it hasn’t, my worries are significant enough to trigger intense reopening anxiety. A small voice whispers that maybe I prefer avoiding uncomfortable interactions with other parents.
Reopening Anxiety Is Widespread
According to The New York Times, around half of us are anxious about reopening, as reported by the American Psychological Association. We feel apprehensive about returning to in-person interactions, face-to-face meetings, and small talk. However, a smaller group within that half experiences heightened anxiety—whether they’re battling severe anxiety, OCD, or simply being introverted. Interestingly, this smaller group may not have suffered as much during isolation as others.
Personally, I’ve missed a few friends and felt for my children, which is probably the hardest part. However, I have not felt a desperate need for human connection. I enjoy my weekly hangouts with my friend Alex, where we relax and watch TV. I appreciate visits from my friend Jamie every couple of weeks. Yet, I haven’t missed parties, small talk, or meeting new people.
For those of us with significant social anxiety, especially those prone to panic attacks, the pandemic may have served as a “break,” as stated by The New York Times. We are individuals who find everyday social interactions not just tiring but emotionally taxing. The thought of re-engaging socially after a pandemic feels overwhelming for many of us who have grown accustomed to our comfort zones.
“I worry a lot about my clients with social anxiety,” said Dr. Lisa Hartwell, a psychologist based in Denver, to The New York Times.
The Reality of Reopening Anxiety
What are the safety guidelines for meeting up after vaccinations? The CDC states that my Moderna vaccine is 94.1% effective against COVID-19. But my children are unvaccinated. Should I be more cautious for their sake when we go out? If we still need to wear masks and enforce social distancing, what’s the point of going out?
I was never overly cautious about sanitizing, but the pandemic has turned me into a bit of a compulsive sanitizer (as it has for many). I find myself constantly warning my kids not to touch things in public and sanitizing their hands afterward. I open doors with my sleeve and use pencil tips to push buttons. The guidelines may inadvertently reinforce OCD tendencies.
Managing Reopening Anxiety
Experts emphasize the importance of social interaction. To mitigate reopening anxiety, they suggest starting with a few close friends outdoors and ensuring that our conversations don’t revolve around the pandemic. It’s also essential to choose friends wisely—those who help reduce our anxiety, like my friend Alex, versus those who might increase it, like mothers I feel obligated to socialize with through playdates.
Additionally, masks can hinder social interactions by obstructing facial expressions, making it harder to interpret social cues. For those already challenged in this area, masks can exacerbate anxiety, creating a vicious cycle.
Psycom recommends developing a “game plan”: list activities that make you anxious and rate them from one to one hundred. Start with something in the 30-50 range to achieve a sense of accomplishment without overwhelming yourself.
Take your time as you navigate reopening anxiety. Begin with small steps rather than jumping straight into large social gatherings. For those with diagnosed conditions or concerns, maintaining regular contact with a therapist or psychiatrist is crucial. Having someone safe to talk to—either in a clinical setting or outside of it—can be incredibly beneficial.
Don’t hesitate to express how you feel. I’m scared about returning to a sense of normalcy, and it’s okay to admit that. I enjoy the comfort of my home bubble, but I recognize the need to step outside of it. Acknowledging my fear is an essential step toward overcoming my reopening anxiety.
This article was originally published on April 6, 2021.