As a stay-at-home mom of two young children—ages five and three—I often feel a strong sense of obligation to play with them since I’m home all day. However, the reality is that playtime feels torturous for me. My daughter is always directing the play, and my son wants me to crawl around or chase him, activities I’ve never enjoyed, even as a kid. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with them; it’s just that the kind of time they crave feels draining. And then, of course, comes the mom guilt—I can’t help but think I should love this time together. What do I do?
Oh, I can relate. My children are older now, but when they were little, playing was never my strong suit. You’re definitely not alone; many parents feel this way. It’s tough to engage when your child is telling you what character to be or when you’re crawling on knees that feel older than you are, just wishing for a clean floor.
Finding Enjoyable Activities
One approach I found helpful was to discover activities I could actually enjoy with my kids. For instance, we had a doctor kit, and I would let them poke and prod me while I relaxed on their bed. They were entertained, and I could sneak in a mini-nap. I also enjoyed “restaurant” play, where I’d sit back and let them serve me snacks from their toy kitchen. Another favorite was “painter,” where they would draw on my back, allowing me to close my eyes while guessing what they were creating.
Enlisting Help
Another strategy was to enlist family and friends who loved to engage in play. My brother, for instance, was the fun uncle who would wrestle and chase, and my husband was always up for horsey rides. Did I happily pass off playtime to them? Absolutely.
Quality Time Beyond Play
I also found plenty of other ways to spend quality time with my kids that didn’t involve traditional play. We would take walks, bake cookies, read books together, or watch funny animal videos online. This way, they still got my undivided attention, and it made for a more enjoyable experience for everyone. After all, if I despised playing, what kind of playmate would I be?
Looking back, I can confidently say that my lack of enthusiasm for play didn’t hinder our relationships. Kids value your presence above all else, so what you do together is less important than simply being there for them. If you’re seeking more insight on home insemination or parenting, check out this post or learn about fertility solutions at Make a Mom and explore this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Feeling guilty about not enjoying playtime with your kids is common among parents. It’s important to find activities you can enjoy, engage with others who love to play, and spend quality time in ways that feel natural to you. Ultimately, your presence is what matters most to your children, not the specific activities you do together.