home insemination kits with syringes
I’ll admit it: I was a temperamental teenager. I attribute much of that to the rollercoaster of hormones flooding my system during puberty. As a child, before the onset of these changes, I woke up each day with a smile on my face. I looked forward to school, was thrilled to wear my favorite purple shirt, and was eager to indulge in hot chocolate after class. Even the sound of rain brought me joy. I was that bubbly kid who couldn’t contain her excitement, often earning comments from my teachers about being “too social” and needing to tone it down. My mother even had a little game called “Let’s See How Long You Can Go Without Talking,” but I could never last more than three minutes, despite her attempts to bribe me.
Then, around the age of twelve, everything shifted. I remember sitting in band class when suddenly, tears streamed down my face. The girl who had been excited about the upcoming dance was replaced by someone who craved solitude. Those phases of emotional upheaval eventually passed, and I returned to my cheerful self during my late teens, believing that the moody stage was behind me. Oh, how wrong I was.
Fast forward to turning 40. The girl who cried in band class now seems like a calm soul compared to the fierce woman I’ve become, filled with rage at the tiniest provocation. It’s been almost six years, and these mood swings show no signs of settling down. One moment I’m perfectly fine, and the next, I feel like I could snap a log in half with my bare hands. I often surprise myself with these sudden shifts, wondering when I’ll transition into “bitch mode” and unleash my fury on anyone nearby.
A friend recently shared that she and her husband use a safe word for when she feels the inner demons creeping in. Yes, a safe word! If you haven’t yet hit the perimenopausal stage, you might think this is a bit much. But trust me, until you’re here, you can’t comprehend the intensity of these feelings. I’ve tried various methods to regain control—my friends have too—but while some strategies like sleep, exercise, and magnesium help a bit, there’s no universal solution.
The mood swings of middle age make it feel like someone else is operating your emotions with a remote control. You can wake up feeling great only to be hit by crippling anxiety minutes later, often without understanding why. Your body becomes a stranger; one moment you’re freezing, and the next, you’re so hot that you fantasize about standing outside, naked, just to feel some relief. You might crave a giant turkey leg one day, only to be plagued by nausea the next, and then there are the unpredictable menstrual cycles that come around far too often.
I have friends who report a complete loss of libido, while others find their sex drive skyrocketing, creating tension in their relationships. And let’s not forget the unwelcome gifts of middle age: acne, wrinkles, and unwanted hair sprouting in all the wrong places—like a terrible joke on top of everything else.
Honestly, I may think I’m fine until I catch a glimpse of my reflection—acne on my jawline and stray whiskers glaring back at me. It feels like my body’s way of saying, “Welcome to your 40s! Let’s mess with you by stealing your sleep and throwing in some hormonal chaos.”
While there are indeed positives to this decade—like not caring as much about others’ opinions and knowing which jeans fit best—this doesn’t mean I won’t feel the urge to snatch a bag of chips from my partner and smash it on their head when they crunch too loudly. A simple sink clog can bring me to tears, and believe me, sleep can be elusive even when my mind is blank.
Essentially, middle age feels like having PMS on a near-daily basis. Even on the days I feel like myself, there’s a lingering dread that the annoyed version of me is just around the corner, waiting to take over because that’s the routine I’ve come to expect. I wish there were a miracle pill to alleviate this, but until that exists, I suggest we all come up with a safe word, just like my friend.
If you’re looking for more insight on navigating these changes, check out this post on our other blog. Additionally, resources like CCRM IVF offer excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination. And for those seeking to boost fertility, Make A Mom is an authority on the subject.
Summary
Reaching your 40s can bring a whirlwind of emotional changes that feel uncontrollable. From sudden mood swings to physical changes, it’s a challenging time for many. While there are strategies to manage these shifts, the experience can often feel overwhelming. Finding a supportive community and resources can make all the difference.