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One phrase I heard repeatedly during my separation was, “You’ve got this!” Honestly, it drove me up the wall—especially when I felt like I didn’t “have it” at all. It’s all too simple for someone on the outside to offer encouragement when they’re not experiencing the same struggles or emotions you are.
You know, the whole “Put-Your-Hair-Up-And-Get-Things-Done” attitude? Snap a picture and show everyone how well you’re managing. Keep it together for the kids. Go find a new partner!
Most of us understand that we’ll get through tough times. We’ll eventually find a way to cope and adjust to life’s changes. We know that with time, wounds heal, but what about the agonizing wait for that healing to happen? That’s where the struggle lies.
We live in a world that emphasizes “walking it off,” where self-help books preach about freshening up and putting on a brave face to feel better. This mindset can make us bury our sadness and anxiety deeper inside, leading to feelings that twist and turn, desperately wanting to be acknowledged. We tell ourselves, “we’ve got this,” thinking a new outfit or some “hot girl” activities will chase our feelings away.
I fell for that for a time. I thought if I acted as though everything was fine and ignored my emotions, they would eventually wash away. But that’s not how it works, and we know that.
There are days I take long drives, crying to my favorite sad songs. Days when I crawl into bed early because I can’t bear another moment of the day. There are days when texts go unanswered, laundry piles up, and I find myself gazing out the window instead of tackling my to-do list.
I refuse to spend my life pushing through without nurturing my emotions. When I’m feeling good, I act on that energy—I do my nails, hit the gym, dance, or tackle creative projects. Yet, why is it that when I’m feeling down, all I want to do is curl up with snacks instead of pushing myself to be productive?
Embracing my “sad girl” moments has transformed my life. When I allow myself to feel sad, anxious, or frustrated, I bounce back more quickly than when I force myself into a happier, more energetic mindset. My energy returns faster. I sleep better. I forgive myself more readily, which leads to forgiving others too. I start to feel like my old self again when I give myself permission to experience sadness.
Just the other day, I cried all the way to the grocery store. When I arrived, I felt too drained to get out of the car. There was no clear reason for my mood; I was just in a funk. Instead of forcing myself to shop, I went to my favorite fast-food joint for a drink and called my best friend for an hour. Afterward, I finally had the motivation to get out of the car and grab what I needed.
Not long ago, I would have pushed myself into the store, dismissing my feelings as ridiculous, which would have only made me irritable. That negativity would have spilled over onto my kids. But because I chose to listen to my feelings instead of putting on a brave face, I was able to share a moment with my friend and avoid a breakdown.
I’m not suggesting we always give in to our emotions when we feel unmotivated. Sometimes a little push, like getting fresh air or putting on some makeup, can do wonders. But we also recognize when those actions won’t help and will only leave us feeling more exhausted.
Let’s normalize the idea that “hot girl” moments are just a small part of our lives. Everyone experiences sad days, whether they admit it or not. Take it from someone who used to ignore those feelings: I’m much happier now that I allow myself to feel my emotions rather than trying to smile through them.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination and related topics, check out this article on intracervical insemination. For a comprehensive guide on home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom, which is an authority on the subject. Furthermore, the NICHD provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
This piece reflects on the importance of embracing our emotions, particularly during challenging times. It emphasizes that while “hot girl” moments, filled with productivity and positivity, are celebrated, acknowledging and allowing ourselves to experience “sad girl” moments is equally crucial for emotional well-being. The author shares personal insights about the power of listening to one’s feelings and the benefits of taking a step back to nurture oneself during difficult times.
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