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Middle school: that awkward phase filled with insecurities, drama, and the unmistakable scent of adolescence. Back in sixth grade, I thought my middle school was a nightmare. The food was awful, and I was constantly dodging bloody tampons on the bathroom floor. Now, as a high school junior, I realize those years from sixth to eighth grade were actually the least stressful of my life.
At 16 years old, my bedroom has become more of a classroom than a place to relax. I’ve spent a lot of this year at home, and while it sometimes felt dull, I managed to reconnect with my middle school friends on Instagram. Our chats usually revolve around silly debates, like whether orange juice is better than apple juice (which it definitely is, in my opinion). However, these conversations have forced me to confront how oblivious I was during those years we hung out in person.
Looking Back at Middle School
When I was in sixth grade, my brother was starting high school as a freshman. But not just any high school—it was one of the best in our state. To get in, he had to provide his middle school grades, test scores, and go through an interview. Each year, around a thousand students apply, but only a hundred make the cut. I wanted to get into the same school for all the wrong reasons; I was eager to impress my parents, friends, and classmates.
From sixth to eighth grade, I held the highest GPA in my class, but looking back, I think my good grades came more from being a well-behaved student and having good rapport with the teachers than from actual intelligence. I even received the athlete award from my PE teacher, despite not being an athlete at all.
The Cost of Being Valedictorian
Over time, my grades turned me into a bit of a snob. Report cards showed how my grades compared to others, and while I sometimes dropped from the top scores to second best, I ultimately became the valedictorian. This accomplishment inflated my ego, but it led to a rude awakening when I got into my dream high school.
All my life, I had been praised for my intelligence and creativity. I thought I excelled in every subject, but my first day at high school hit me hard. A straightforward engineering teacher told us that nobody was special anymore; everyone in the room had stellar middle school grades and reputations, so we were all just another face in the crowd.
I wish someone had told me back then that I wasn’t as smart as I thought. I had inflated my own sense of knowledge so much that I failed to see how much I still had to learn. I also regret not pursuing activities I genuinely enjoyed. It’s sad to realize that much of my middle school experience was spent doing things just to maintain a “smart” image. For instance, I joined the LEGO robotics team, even though I had no clue about building or coding.
Reflections on Self-Worth
Though it may seem trivial now, I wish I had some fun memories to cherish from middle school. I made the mistake of tying my self-worth to my grades, so when I started getting Cs and low Bs in high school, I struggled with my self-esteem.
That said, I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had. I’ve adapted to high school life, and things are moving in the right direction. While good grades and being a valedictorian are impressive achievements, I can’t help but feel that my obsession with school created a barrier between me and true friendships and happiness. The title of valedictorian often comes at a cost, and I sometimes think I sacrificed too much for something that won’t matter as much in the long run.
Resources for Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, reflecting on my middle school experience, I realize that striving for perfection in grades came at a cost to my happiness and friendships. Though I valued my achievements, I now understand the importance of pursuing genuine interests and building connections over merely chasing accolades.