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My eldest child is set to graduate high school in just two months. Since his early school days, he has struggled to keep up, often just scraping by with passing grades. School is not his favorite place, and the thought of sitting in a classroom all day is intolerable for him. There have been many moments when I questioned whether he would even finish high school.
As a parent, I can only do so much to encourage him to submit his assignments. I’m not the type to do my kids’ homework for them; if they don’t take responsibility and end up in summer school or have to repeat a grade, that’s a lesson in itself about the importance of meeting deadlines.
Yet, despite his academic challenges, my son is one of the hardest workers I know. He thrives in hands-on environments. Currently, he’s working long hours collecting trash at the local dump and assisting his dad with plumbing on weekends. This is his passion: he loves being active, fixing things, and working with his hands.
From an early age, I suspected he might not follow the traditional college path that my husband and I took. When we had three children, we assumed they would all pursue higher education, so we started saving. However, after going through a divorce, it became nearly impossible to set aside enough money to prevent our kids from accumulating debt. With the average out-of-state public college costing around $21,000 a year, and private colleges hovering closer to $37,000, the financial burden is daunting.
Having graduated from a private university in 1993, I understand the impact of student loans all too well. My mother provided some assistance, but as a single parent to four children, her help was limited. I’m still making monthly payments on my loans, which will continue for the next five years.
If my son expressed a desire to attend college, I would support him wholeheartedly. However, I feel a sense of relief knowing he won’t be taking on a mountain of debt, and I won’t have to add to my own loans to support him. Despite the decent income my husband and I earn, we still have two other children who will need our support in the future. Saving for college feels like a nearly impossible task, especially with life’s unexpected challenges.
We also want to ensure we have enough for our retirement, so we won’t burden our children when we need care later in life.
If my son decides to pursue higher education later on, I will be there to help him as much as I can because I believe in his potential. However, I’m grateful that he isn’t going to college just to fit in with his friends or because he thinks it’s what his parents expect. I appreciate his recognition of having options, especially given the steep price of college.
Ultimately, my goal is for my children to find happiness. Whether that means attending a technical college, a trade school, a university, or opting out altogether, I’ll support their choices. The one thing I will never do is pressure them into further education—something I experienced and regret.
My son is now at an age where he must make these important decisions independently. I remember being his age and not fully understanding the financial implications of borrowing for school, despite all the paperwork laid out in front of me.
As a parent of teenagers, there is already so much to worry about. College savings and financing are just part of that. After struggling to engage my son in school, there is no way I would send an unmotivated student to college and watch him accumulate debt in the process. So, I won’t hesitate to say that having this weight lifted is a relief—for both of us.
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Summary:
As my son approaches high school graduation, I find myself relieved that he has chosen not to attend college. His challenges in school have led me to realize that he thrives in hands-on work rather than traditional academics. This decision not only spares him from incurring debt but also allows him the freedom to pursue a path that aligns with his interests. I support my children’s choices about their futures, prioritizing their happiness over societal expectations.