No, I’m Not Interested in Aging Gracefully

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In sixth grade, a friend pointed out my nose—it’s always been slightly oversized and crooked, much like my dad’s. I also inherited his ears, which stick out a bit instead of lying flat against my head. Like anyone else, I have my share of insecurities. However, I realized early on that even the most attractive among us have traits they wish they could change—things that often go unnoticed by others.

In short, while there are aspects of myself I sometimes wish were different, I’ve come to accept who I am and have no desire to alter my appearance drastically. But there’s one thing I refuse to do: age gracefully without assistance, and here’s why.

About six years ago, I woke up one morning feeling exhausted, and I could see lines forming around my eyes and mouth. I was hydrating, using face masks, and sleeping properly, but nothing seemed to help. Each time I looked in the mirror or saw a photo of myself, I thought, “That doesn’t look like me!” My outward appearance didn’t reflect my inner vitality. I often felt energetic and upbeat, yet my reflection seemed to show a frown.

It took me nearly a decade to finally try Botox, but once I did, I was thrilled with the results. I also had my frown lines filled and was delighted to see my familiar face again. It’s akin to using a heat serum before straightening my frizzy hair—it always looks better than letting it air dry.

My partner often insists that I don’t need Botox or fillers, but I don’t do it for him or anyone else. It’s for me, and I’ll continue because it boosts my confidence. When my hair started turning gray, I noticed that it matched my scalp, which made it seem like I was losing hair. After a side photo made me panic, I visited my hairdresser for some color, and I felt more like myself afterward.

I fully support anyone opting to embrace their gray hair. I wish I could pull off a stunning silver, but it doesn’t suit my skin tone; it just makes me look washed out. So, I’ll keep coloring my hair as long as it makes me feel good—not to adhere to any societal standard.

Engaging in activities like Botox, filling in my frown lines, coloring my hair, and staying fit is about feeling good in my own skin. When I feel better about my appearance, I radiate more energy and motivation. It’s a positive cycle, and I prefer to present the best version of myself.

When we find what makes us feel good and confident, we tend to stick with it. Some may view Botox or hair coloring as superficial or even as yielding to societal pressures, but for me, it’s about personal autonomy. I’m doing this for myself, without seeking validation from others. I’m unapologetic about wanting to look younger and smoother.

If I were aging gracefully, perhaps I wouldn’t feel the need for these enhancements. But the reality is, my aging face bothers me, and I have options to address it. So, I will embrace these choices—whether it’s smoothing out lines or coloring my hair. It’s my body and my face.

As I approach 46, I’m proud of my age. The goal isn’t to look like my 25-year-old self; it’s to appreciate how I look now. If that requires some help from needles, a hairdresser, and serums, then so be it. I have no regrets.

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In summary, the article discusses the author’s journey with self-acceptance and the choices she makes to feel good about her appearance as she ages. She reflects on her experiences with Botox and hair coloring, emphasizing that these decisions are for her own happiness and autonomy, not for societal approval.