Respect Others’ Grief During COVID-19

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As a parent, I often find myself navigating the complexities of our new normal. Recently, while spending time outdoors with my friend Sarah and our kids, we both realized that even though we are fully vaccinated, she feels more at ease when I wear my mask. So, despite the heat, I choose to keep it on. Her comfort is more important to me than my own desire to be mask-free. We are both still processing our experiences during the pandemic, and neither of us is ready for the typical “normal” that others might embrace.

It’s important to acknowledge that we have all endured unprecedented hardships over the past year. The pandemic has brought about a staggering loss of life and a sense of isolation that many are still grappling with. I’ve found myself overwhelmed with emotion while reflecting on the toll it has taken, whether it’s reading about the situation in India or feeling frustrated about mask mandates in schools, especially since my partner is a teacher.

The Reality of Loss

Many people have lost loved ones to COVID-19, and the grieving process has been complicated by social distancing measures. Those who have experienced loss cannot simply be told to move on. They are navigating their grief, their fears, and the lingering effects of trauma. For example, both Sarah and I lost our last living grandparents during the pandemic, but due to restrictions, we couldn’t properly say goodbye. We are not alone in this; estrangement and broken bonds have affected many as differing views on safety led to painful choices.

It’s heart-wrenching to witness the true colors of those we thought we knew, especially when their actions seem to prioritize personal comfort over the well-being of others. We may have distanced ourselves from these individuals, recognizing that we cannot simply revert to how things were before.

The Impact of Isolation

The isolation we experienced during the pandemic has altered our social skills. Many of us are still adjusting to interacting with others. While some parents have coped well, others have struggled with the monotony and fear that accompanied months of lockdown. It’s essential to understand that not everyone is ready to engage in social activities as if nothing happened. For instance, my child was hesitant to leave our home for months, and I can’t expect him to bounce back immediately.

As we begin to reintegrate into society, we need to be patient and give each other space. While some feel comfortable returning to school or dining indoors, others may still prioritize caution. That’s perfectly valid. If someone in your life is still wearing a mask, understand that it may be their way of coping with the lingering anxiety.

Navigating Our New Normal

We must respect each other’s healing processes. If we are still wearing masks or choosing to avoid crowded places, please don’t pressure us to conform to your version of normal. It’s not just about personal preferences; it’s about addressing the complex emotions surrounding grief, fear, and uncertainty. I often think of a David Bowie lyric: “I’ve got scars that can’t be seen.” While some may feel ready to move on, many of us still need time to heal.

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In summary, our experiences during COVID-19 have shaped us in profound ways. While some may feel ready to embrace a post-pandemic life, others are still navigating their grief and trauma. It’s essential to offer compassion and support, allowing everyone the time they need to heal.