23 Ways to Frustrate Your Child

home insemination Kit

If you ever find yourself wanting to annoy your child for some reason, you’re in luck! It turns out to be quite simple. Here are some effective strategies:

1. Rouse them early in the morning.
2. Use your saliva to clean their face.
3. Mistakenly toss their current homework into the recycling bin, thinking it was outdated.
4. Declare a limit on their screen time—and actually enforce it.
5. Ignore their call from school when they claim to feel ill because your phone’s volume was off, leaving them in the nurse’s office with the odd kid.
6. Forget to keep that one special art project that they deemed crucial to their happiness.
7. Ask them to feed the dog, even if it’s their only chore.
8. Attempt to clarify their homework using different terminology than their teacher.
9. Stop reading at a suspenseful moment in a book, like Harry Potter. “And just as the monster was about to attack Harry and his friends, well, sweet dreams, dear!”
10. Suggest they change out of the favorite, albeit tattered, sweater and those mismatched pants.
11. Remind them that homework still exists.
12. Keep only “boring” snacks available at home.
13. Allow their favorite socks to develop holes, and then fail to repair them effectively.
14. Skip buying the latest Skylanders Swap Force characters after already investing heavily in the original set.
15. Get dizzy watching their Minecraft roller coaster, causing you to close your eyes just as they hit the “coolest part.”
16. Insist that they use utensils during dinner.
17. Encourage them to use a napkin instead of their shirt.
18. Request that they speak politely.
19. Ask them to just sit down in a chair without fidgeting.
20. Try to teach them about topics they are currently studying in school, despite your advanced degree in Physical Therapy.
21. Only provide them with dull viewing options, then lecture about how fortunate they are to have so many choices compared to your childhood.
22. Remind them to aim for the toilet rather than the surrounding area.
23. Calmly inform them that it’s time for bed.

For further insights on parenting, particularly related to home insemination and family planning, check out intracervicalinsemination.com. Additionally, for more authoritative information, see Make a Mom and Parents.

Summary

This article humorously outlines 23 easy ways to irritate your child, from waking them up early to enforcing bedtime, reminding parents of the daily challenges of family life.