New Moms Should Feel No Pressure to Juggle Household Chores

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I remember a day during my pregnancy, feeling completely overwhelmed as I drove home from work. My partner and I had decided that I would stay home with our baby, and I started to worry about how I would manage to keep the house clean with a newborn. I couldn’t fathom how other moms seemed to find time for showers or cooking meals amidst the chaos. This was nearly two decades ago, long before social media made it easy to compare lives with others. All I had for guidance was my mother and her experiences, as I was the first in my circle to welcome a little one.

My mother assured me that babies would sleep for long stretches, giving me ample opportunity to tackle chores. I felt a sense of relief, thinking I wouldn’t have the stress of long work hours and commutes anymore. After all, my mom had done it with three kids, so how hard could it be?

Then reality hit. The first night home with our baby was a sleepless nightmare. He cried non-stop, and I was grappling with painful breastfeeding. My ambitions of cleaning the house and baking a treat for visitors evaporated. When morning finally came and the baby finally fell asleep, I was too exhausted to even think about hosting guests. I wanted to hide from the world, but instead, I forced myself to be productive, thinking I had to get things done while the baby napped.

Fast forward nearly twenty years, and I’m still recovering from that mindset. I learned the hard way that prioritizing household tasks over self-care was detrimental. I was anxious, sleep-deprived, and overwhelmed by irrational fears. I neglected my own needs, feeling pressured to return calls, clean up, or bake, even when I could barely keep my eyes open.

It took almost a year for me to realize that it’s absolutely okay to put my well-being first. New moms need to understand that nurturing oneself is vital—especially during those quiet moments when the baby sleeps. We must change the narrative that new mothers should be flawless, managing everything seamlessly.

Your primary focus should be on caring for yourself and your baby. Forget about tackling every chore. Don’t feel guilty if you choose to relax instead of scrubbing floors or responding to messages. This phase of life is about adjusting to a new routine and ensuring you don’t become burnt out. Prioritizing your needs is not only acceptable; it’s essential.

With my next two children, I adopted a healthier approach. I set boundaries around visitors and took naps when I could. I allowed myself to enjoy downtime, which significantly improved my happiness. If it makes you feel accomplished to clean while the baby sleeps, that’s fantastic. However, don’t hold yourself to an unrealistic standard. Remember, your mental health and well-being will always take precedence over housework.

Take it from someone who’s been through it all: the dishes and laundry can wait. What truly matters is how you feel during this transformative time.

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In summary, new moms should embrace the reality of their situation without the burden of unrealistic expectations. Prioritize self-care and focus on what truly matters during this significant life change.