Sorry, Sweetheart — Your Mom’s Makeup Knowledge is Lacking

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My daughter recently received her first makeup kit for her birthday, and like any kid these days, she eagerly suggested we watch YouTube tutorials for some “looks.” After a lengthy search, we finally stumbled upon a “beginner-friendly” tutorial. She was captivated, while I found myself utterly bewildered.

What were all these products? What about these techniques? The terms? Bake? Contour? Cut crease? Waterline? Why were there so many steps and brushes involved? Was that a kitchen sponge? The world of makeup had clearly evolved since my last engagement with it, which I now realized had been ages ago. How did this become the “beginner” phase of makeup?

Suddenly, I felt like I had been doing my own makeup all wrong for years. Flashbacks emerged from my teenage days, when I would enviously watch the more glamorous girls apply their makeup after gym class. No one really taught me makeup skills, aside from a scene from “My Girl,” which I doubted still held true—especially the idea that “a girl can never have too much blue eyeshadow.” Honestly, my current makeup collection was barely an upgrade from her new kit. I had never even shopped at a real makeup store for myself. I was a total latecomer to the makeup scene and had never experienced a “glow up.”

I didn’t want her to sense my feelings of inadequacy. We stood at the bathroom vanity and tried to recreate the tutorial. She looked to me for direction, expecting advice from a makeup-using mom of twenty years. I began as I always did, applying foundation straight to my face, only to hear her exclaim, “That’s not how she did it, Mom.” She rolled her eyes when I used the same brush for both foundation and blush. My cheeks flushed with anxiety, which, ironically, helped since that blush was not very pigmented (I think I used that term correctly).

I looked at her, unsure of what to say. The stress sweat was beginning to emerge, which is not helpful for makeup application. Should I admit that I was just as lost as she was, despite my daily routine? I remembered my mom’s words from when we stood at the bathroom mirror in my childhood home after I won the debate of “you’re not old enough.” She told me, “You have such natural beauty; you don’t even need makeup.” I had believed it back then, but now I was questioning if it was just a way to keep me from using it.

My daughter, however, truly didn’t need makeup. I hoped to channel my mom’s wisdom to navigate this awkward moment, so I echoed her sentiment.

My daughter tilted her head, gave me a look, and sassily replied, “I know I don’t need it, but I want it.”

Touché, tiny human. This was one of those pivotal moments between mother and daughter, and I felt like I was failing miserably at the makeup game.

On the brink of a bonding disaster, I opted for a refined version of “I have no clue what I’m doing” and said, “Well, let’s just have fun with it!” She grinned and embraced the plan. She began mimicking the tutorial, with me as her client, talking to the mirror as if it were a camera. She held up the products she would use and affectionately called me “honey.” She laughed at the terms she had heard yet didn’t quite understand—neither did I, so I joined in the laughter. I went along with her less-than-gentle brush strokes, pokes to my eyes, and the random colors she applied. My face was caked in products, but she assured me, “That’s on trend!” She held my face in her hands, declaring I was beautiful, and I reminded her that she was stunning just the way she was.

By the end of our session, it felt much more like the bonding experience I had envisioned rather than an interrogation into my makeup skills. Perhaps I could keep my secret a little longer. In the meantime, I should probably brush up on my tutorials (pun totally intended) in case she throws down the gauntlet again. Maybe I should just do my makeup in private, or even ask friends who are makeup-savvy what I should be doing. There’s a lot I need to work on before she catches on.

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Summary:

In this humorous reflection, Lila Harper recounts the experience of introducing her daughter to makeup tutorials. As they navigate the complexities of modern makeup application, Lila grapples with her own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. Through this playful yet enlightening bonding moment, they discover that the joy of creativity and connection can outweigh the pressures of perfection.