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As the school year begins each fall, I find myself eagerly anticipating summer break. Parenting school-aged children is a demanding role, and when you have kids with special needs on an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP), the challenges multiply. Both of my children have IEPs, which makes for an exhausting school year. By the time May arrives, I am completely worn out—not just your typical fatigue, but a level beyond that. Parents of kids with IEPs share the same worries and stresses as other parents, but we also face unique challenges related to our children’s needs.
For those unfamiliar, an IEP outlines the specific educational support and services a child requires to succeed in school. It acts like a dynamic contract with the school that evolves as the child’s needs change. Each year, summer school is presented as an option, and each year, I decline. This decision often comes with a wave of guilt.
By the time summer rolls around, both my kids and I are mentally and emotionally exhausted. Summer is our chance to reconnect as a family, allowing the kids to simply enjoy being kids—without the pressures of school schedules, meetings, or concerns about falling behind. We desperately need this time to unwind and recharge.
This year, more than ever, I feel the weight of the school year. Recently, I hit a breaking point where I truly needed a pause. The reality for IEP parents is that breaks are rare; if we let our guard down, things can quickly become overwhelming. Anyone with a child who has special needs understands this struggle: there are no reprieves during the school year, and this year has certainly been no different.
That’s why it’s crucial for us to celebrate the small victories that come our way throughout the school year. These little moments of joy help counterbalance the many challenges we face. When negativity feels relentless, recognizing these achievements can provide a sense of balance and hope.
Feeling “normal” is a distant concept in the realm of education. One conversation with a parent of a child without learning differences can remind me how different our experiences are. Education systems are designed for the so-called “normal learner.” If your child doesn’t fit that mold, the reminders are constant—often unintentional but still disheartening.
If I’m not preoccupied with my children’s challenges, I’m anxious about whether I’m doing enough or what more could be done. Fortunately, we have a fantastic IEP team supporting both kids, which is a blessing. However, even with this support, the process is incredibly taxing. Daily life is a constant reminder that we often don’t fit into the traditional mold: endless meetings, therapy sessions, and behavior plans highlight our differences.
When we initiated the IEP process with our oldest nearly eight years ago, I never imagined we would still be navigating these waters. I used to wonder how some parents could disengage from their children’s special education journey. But now, I understand that the weight of it all can lead one to feel like just giving up.
Despite the temptation to throw in the towel, I refuse to do so. As a parent, I will keep pushing ahead. I will shed tears in solitude, conduct late-night research on schools and techniques, and fight for my children’s needs. I might question every choice I make, but I will continue until that final moment when summer break arrives. In that moment, I’ll finally take a deep breath, perhaps even celebrate with a glass of wine.
So, no, my children will not be attending summer school.
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In summary, the decision to forgo summer school is rooted in the need for rest and family time after a long, taxing school year. It’s crucial for both my children and me to recharge and enjoy our summer together.