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Every June, the LGBTQ+ community shines brightly as we commemorate Pride Month. This celebration honors the Stonewall uprising—a pivotal series of protests that erupted at the Stonewall Inn in New York City at the end of June 1969. Since the inaugural parade in 1970, individuals from the community, alongside allies, have taken to the streets globally to reflect on our journey and acknowledge the work that lies ahead. Although this year offers more in-person celebrations than last, many events remain virtual. I’ve come to realize that Pride embodies a mindset beyond just parades, yet I still yearn for more public celebrations.
Pride has always been a complex experience for me. I feel an intense desire to go all out and celebrate, but I also recognize that it has become heavily commercialized. I want to indulge in all the rainbow-themed merchandise available, yet I sometimes wish to reclaim the essence of Pride from corporate interests. It’s a challenging dilemma. I embrace the visibility that comes with these products; they signify progress, even if they stem from a capitalist agenda. Imagine being a closeted kid running errands and discovering an entire section dedicated to Pride. It may be a marketing strategy, but it profoundly impacts visibility.
Visibility has always been crucial to Pride. The Stonewall uprising was a fight for recognition as human beings deserving dignity. Celebrations that followed were a declaration that our humanity would not be stripped away. Witnessing millions of LGBTQ+ individuals proudly declare “I’m here, I matter” is incredibly powerful. I recall watching Pride parades over the years, feeling a mix of joy and envy. As someone who was only “out” to a select few during much of my life, it was isolating to carry that burden. Yet, seeing others openly embrace their identities was inspiring.
From a young age, I knew I was queer, but I spent years concealing that part of myself. In the late 90s and early 2000s, the term bisexual was unfamiliar to me. I knew of lesbians, but couldn’t reconcile my interest in makeup and fashion with my attraction to women. At 17, I had my first encounter with a girl, but the friends I confided in weren’t as supportive as I had hoped. For about a decade, I shared my truth with only a few. I often felt a pang of longing when I saw my openly queer friends celebrating Pride. I wanted to participate fully but was scared to reveal my true self.
It wasn’t until I turned 31, after ending a long-term relationship with a man (the father of my son), that I finally came out as bisexual. Although I wasn’t ready to date again, I knew I couldn’t continue hiding my identity. I was determined to attend Pride 2020, but as we know, the pandemic altered those plans.
This year, I desperately wanted to attend Pride, especially for my son. I recently fell in love and got engaged to an incredible woman, and I want him to see families like ours in real life. He has only encountered other two-mom families through social media, so experiencing a family-friendly Pride event would be wonderful.
At seven, my son is at an age where he views having two moms as completely normal. However, I know that as he grows, he might face peers who challenge that perception. Early elementary years are tricky for queer parents, as children begin to absorb external opinions. I can reinforce his understanding at home, but the influence of peers is significant.
Attending a Pride event would further solidify the lessons I’ve been teaching him. He thrives on tangible experiences and seeing the diverse expressions of gender and sexuality that Pride showcases. It’s different to read about it or watch it on TV; experiencing it live creates lasting memories. I want him to see the vastness of the LGBTQ+ community and engage in the celebration of who we are.
As a queer parent and Black woman, I devote much of my time to educating my son about our communities’ struggles. We recently read a children’s book about the Stonewall Inn, sparking a great conversation about LGBTQ+ identity. He understands that many brave individuals fought for our right to love openly. Yet, I also want him to experience the joy and pride that comes with being unabashedly queer. Celebrating Pride means standing together, affirming our existence, and declaring that we will not be silenced.
Pride encompasses much more than vibrant parades and rainbow attire. Despite the ongoing struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community, we continue to advocate for our humanity and equality. I aspire to honor the trailblazers who fought for my liberty while also celebrating my identity and love. I refuse to hide anymore, even if it means waiting for another year to fully engage in the festivities.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s journey as a queer parent raising a son with her partner. It explores the significance of Pride Month in affirming LGBTQ+ identities, the importance of visibility, and the complexities of navigating societal perceptions. The author emphasizes the need for authentic celebrations that honor both the struggles and joys of the LGBTQ+ community.