Why I Won’t Let My Child Win

home insemination Kit

My 8-year-old son, Ethan, recently signed up for the Chess Club at school. Having only played a few casual games with our neighbor’s kid, he was quite disappointed when he lost on his first day. To help him practice, my husband dug out our old chess set from the back of the closet. I had mentioned that while I used to play a lot in college, I’d forgotten much of what I knew about the game. When Ethan asked me to play with him, I couldn’t resist. After all, when your child wants to spend time with you, you make it happen!

A quick Google search jogged my memory, and soon enough, Ethan and I were facing each other with serious expressions. Playing chess came back to me like riding a bike (although I did have to remind myself that it’s called a “bishop,” not a “castle”). After about 45 minutes, I managed to trap Ethan’s king. “Check,” I declared. He sat there, deep in thought, trying to find a way out of my rook and bishop’s clutches. After a few minutes, I noticed his shoulders slumped, and I told him what a great game he had played. I extended my hand for a post-game handshake, but he just stared at me.

“Hey, buddy, that’s not polite. We always shake hands after a game, win or lose. How about a high five instead?” He wasn’t having any of it. His bottom lip quivered, and soon, my lanky little guy was in my lap, sobbing. I wiped his tears and reassured him that losing is part of learning, especially for beginners. Meanwhile, I could see my husband mouthing from the couch, “You should have let him win!”

Later that night, as Ethan was winding down for bed, he continued to reflect on our chess match. His tears were gone, but he was still fixated on his mistakes. “I shouldn’t have moved my knight!” “I should have sacrificed that pawn!” “How did I let you take my queen?” Finally, as I tucked him in, he got to the question that had been brewing for a while: “Mom, can I ask you a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Could you… maybe go easy on me next time?”

I stifled a laugh. “Let’s think this through. If I go easy and you win, will you really feel like you earned it? Or will it feel like I just gave it to you?”

He pondered for a moment and replied, “I guess it would feel like you just handed it over.”

“Now, consider this: if I play my best every time, and you have to work hard to beat me, how do you think you’ll feel when you finally win?”

A smile broke across his face. “I think I’d want to scream with happiness!”

I chuckled. “Alright then, you have a choice. If you want me to take it easy, I can do that. But if you want me to play my hardest, I’ll do that too—just know I won’t pretend otherwise. So, what’s it going to be?”

He hesitated for only a moment: “Full out.”

And just like that, he chose the challenge.

This experience reminded me of the importance of resilience and learning through failure. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, you might check out this useful article. Also, for anyone looking to understand fertility better, this podcast from Cleveland Clinic on IVF and fertility preservation is an excellent resource.

To sum it up, giving children the chance to experience both victory and defeat is essential for their growth. It builds character, fosters determination, and ultimately leads to genuine joy when they succeed on their own terms.