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As a proud “boy mom,” I once envisioned raising daughters, having grown up in a household of girls. Now, with my sister and me raising four boys between us, I can’t imagine it any other way. Our homes are filled with laughter, noise, and love, making the thought of having a daughter seem foreign.
While there are times I appreciate the absence of certain pressures girls face, there are moments that remind me of the challenges involved in nurturing respectful and responsible young men. Recently, a friend of mine, also a boy mom, shared on social media her sons’ desire for a male babysitter, seeking recommendations. I thought it would be fantastic for boys to have a positive role model who could relate to their interests, like Pokemon and baseball, while sharing in the joy of silly humor. The responses were overwhelmingly supportive, with many sharing their positive experiences with male babysitters. Even my mother, a seasoned high school teacher, offered to help find some great candidates.
However, my optimism quickly dwindled when my friend sent me a screenshot of a private message she received from an acquaintance. This message expressed a troubling viewpoint that male babysitters should be avoided due to fears about their behavior. It claimed that boys could be more inappropriate in their actions and words and that they pose a risk to younger children in ways they might not understand. The message suggested that girls, by nature, possess a nurturing instinct that boys inherently lack.
As I absorbed this message, I struggled to comprehend how someone, especially a fellow mother, could harbor such beliefs. The idea that boys are destined to be sexual deviants and unfit fathers is not just alarming; it’s detrimental. It perpetuates the stereotype that men should not aspire to be caregivers or involved parents.
This notion of “boys will be boys” is not only harmful; it stifles boys’ potential to become emotionally intelligent and empathetic men. We’ve made strides in promoting gender equality in the workplace, but it’s equally vital to champion equality for men in family roles. Too often, mothers are the ones contacted by schools or recognized for managing household duties while fathers receive minimal acknowledgment for their efforts. Simply ensuring the kids are safe is not the standard for responsible fatherhood.
Raising boys should involve encouraging them to be well-rounded individuals who can express their emotions and embrace nurturing roles. I take pride in the fact that my sons see strong women in various professions, but I also want them to recognize men who excel in caregiving roles. They should witness men who respect women and understand the concept of consent.
As a boy mom, I feel the weight of responsibility in shaping the next generation of good men. I hope my sons have the opportunity to learn from older boys who can demonstrate what it means to grow into respectful males. It saddens me that this woman, too, is a boy mom and holds such limiting beliefs.
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Summary
A troubling message about male babysitters sparked a reflection on the stereotypes surrounding boys and their roles in parenting. The belief that boys are inherently less nurturing undermines their potential to be involved fathers and caregivers. It’s crucial to encourage boys to embrace their emotions and break free from outdated gender norms. As a boy mom, I recognize the responsibility of raising well-rounded young men who respect others and understand the importance of consent.