artificial insemination kit for humans
For much of my life, my motivation for exercising was singular: to shrink my body. Despite understanding the myriad physical health benefits of exercise, my primary focus remained on reducing my size. Even after discovering the mental health advantages of working out, the goal was still weight loss. All the other perks—like enhanced energy, strength, and mental clarity—were merely bonuses to my obsession with the scale.
About a year and a half ago, everything changed. I stopped exercising altogether. After coming out as queer and navigating a painful divorce, I found myself overwhelmed and depleted. My priority shifted to ensuring my children were okay and regaining financial stability. I slipped into a mild depression that felt distinct from the one I experienced while hiding my true self.
Throughout 2020, I engaged in binge-eating and hardly moved, aside from an occasional walk. I kept promising myself I would “get back on track” with exercise, but I felt like I was failing. My clothes no longer fit, and I struggled with negative thoughts about my body. I played twisted mental games, trying to fuel my self-hate to motivate me to work out, but my focus was still on shrinking my body.
I felt shame for having these thoughts, knowing they were unhealthy and hypocritical. I advocated for body positivity—believing every body is a beach body and every body is a bikini body—but I was cruel to myself. The hateful things I thought about my body were words I would never direct towards another person.
Then, three months ago, I began taking antidepressants. Shortly after starting a low-dose SSRI, I felt a gentle urge to move again. For the first time, I imagined working out not to lose weight but simply for enjoyment. I envisioned myself using my weights, doing push-ups, and sweating to my favorite tunes. It was a refreshing realization, as exercise had always been tied to dieting for me since I was 12.
Now, after all the challenges I’ve faced, exercise no longer serves the purpose of weight loss. My body weight is at an all-time high, but I choose to exercise for the joy it brings. I refuse to hate myself over my body’s shape anymore.
I crafted a little workout space in my garage with some weights, a kettlebell, and a Bluetooth speaker, turning it into my personal gym. I commit to moving for 30 to 45 minutes daily. Here’s the kicker: even after a month of consistent exercise, I haven’t lost any weight, yet I feel no urge to push harder or change my diet. In the past, a static scale would have left me feeling like a “failure,” prompting me to restrict my food or abandon my workouts altogether. Now, I simply don’t care about the scale.
After a month of regular workouts, I feel myself getting stronger. My weights are becoming too light, and I’ve even invested in a spin bike to challenge myself further while being mindful of my knees. I’m recovering faster from workouts, enjoying the process of sweating, and relishing the desire to move. These short workouts have become the highlight of my day—a time for me to unwind, listen to music, and feel my strength returning. With the combination of antidepressants and daily exercise, I’m more emotionally stable than I’ve been in years.
If I remain at my current size but continue to feel strong, energetic, and mentally healthy, I consider that a far greater victory than merely losing inches.
Interested in more? Check out one of our other blog posts at this link for more insights. For expert guidance on home insemination, visit Make a Mom as they provide excellent resources on the topic. Additionally, UCSF’s Center offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- self insemination
- artificial insemination methods
- home insemination success stories
- in-home insemination process
Summary:
This article chronicles a personal journey of shifting the motivation behind exercising from weight loss to enjoyment. After years of associating exercise with body size, the author discovers the joy of movement without the pressure of the scale. Embracing this new mindset leads to improved emotional well-being and physical strength, redefining success beyond just numbers.