A Model of Inclusion: Why Other States Should Follow Massachusetts’ Lead

happy pregnant womanartificial insemination kit for humans

In just over a month, my partner, Jamie, and I will mark a decade of marriage. Our journey has been filled with challenges, much like any couple’s, including attending couples therapy on two occasions. I often quip that if something were to happen to Jamie, I wouldn’t consider remarrying—it’s simply too much work. Understanding each other’s body language, navigating changing preferences, and making major life decisions together—like buying a house or starting a family—can be overwhelming. Yet, our love for each other makes it all worthwhile.

When Jamie and I began dating years ago, we were enveloped in the excitement of a new relationship—the butterflies, cozy moments, dinner dates, and meeting each other’s friends and family. We were also part of a small but determined community advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights, pushing for a world where we could be recognized as equals.

Inclusivity is not just about changing laws—though that is part of it. It’s about consistent action, language that normalizes our existence, and recognition of families like ours. This is why the Massachusetts government’s acknowledgment of an LGBTQIA+ couple, like Taylor and their partner, as parents is significant.

This is a milestone worth celebrating, but it shouldn’t stop with Massachusetts. Families like ours exist everywhere, every day of the year.

Before Jamie and I even met in person, I expressed my desire to have children. Our relationship began while I was in the process of adopting a child. By our third email exchange, Jamie knew I wanted more kids and was eager to give birth—a non-negotiable for me. When we got married in 2011, we began trying for another baby in 2014. Thanks to in-vitro fertilization (IVF), we were blessed with twins! The moment I saw them during our first ultrasound was surreal.

Fast forward to seven months later, and we were deep in preparations: birthing plans, childcare arrangements for our first child, choosing diapers, and figuring out the logistics. As a same-sex couple, we faced unique concerns that heterosexual couples often take for granted—such as whose name appears on the birth certificate and the length of leave we could take.

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), enacted in 1993, provides job security for all families, regardless of sexual orientation or family structure. Under FMLA, families get up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, while Massachusetts offers up to 26 weeks of paid leave—an invaluable gift for new parents. Yet, the eligibility for this leave can differ by state, which is a matter of ongoing debate. What should never be up for debate is the inclusion of same-sex parents.

The long fight for equal rights for same-sex couples is both exhausting and essential to understand. In 2004, San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, challenging state law. By 2013, the language in FMLA was updated to be more inclusive, and it wasn’t until 2015 that same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide. The victories in key Supreme Court cases have finally started to reflect our families in official language, particularly in Massachusetts.

Paid family and medical leave is crucial for families to bond with their children, whether through birth or adoption. It’s heartbreaking that some partners are denied entry to the delivery room simply because they don’t fit the traditional couple mold. As I prepared for my C-section, the anxiety of all the “what ifs” crossed my mind—what if I am not recognized as a parent? This is a fear that many heterosexual couples don’t have to face.

When LGBTQIA+ couples are represented positively on government websites, as with Taylor and their partner, it’s a small yet significant victory. By adopting inclusive language, we move closer to acceptance in every aspect of life. States beyond Massachusetts need to step up and recognize that our families matter, too.

Let’s continue to advocate for equality, not just in words, but in action and legislation. Thank you, Massachusetts, for leading the way. To the other 49 states: it’s time to follow suit. Language matters, we matter, and our families deserve recognition.

For more insights on home insemination, check out this blog post. Additionally, if you’re interested in enhancing fertility, Make A Mom is an authority on the topic. For a deeper understanding of the process, visit this excellent resource.

Possible Search Queries:

In summary, Massachusetts stands as a beacon of hope for inclusivity and equal rights for LGBTQIA+ families. Other states must take heed and implement similar policies to ensure that all families are acknowledged and supported.