Everything You’ve Wanted to Know About Using a Dildo

Parenting and Intimacy

By The Home Insemination Kit Team
Updated: November 10, 2021
Originally Published: August 14, 2021

Perhaps you had an older sibling, cousin, or friend who enlightened you on the various aspects of sex, including masturbation, the use of lube, and more. If that’s the case, you might feel prepared for anything — including dildos. However, if you missed out on that education, you may have lingering questions, even as an adult. While vibrators and other sex toys that suck or pulsate often steal the spotlight with their flashy features aimed at delivering pleasure quickly, dildos can seem a bit more enigmatic. It’s not uncommon to wonder how to properly use a dildo.

At first glance, it seems straightforward, given that they are essentially substitutes for penises. Their function is clear. Interestingly, some of the earliest dildos date back nearly 30,000 years, indicating that humans have long utilized phallic objects for pleasure. However, the question remains: how do you use a dildo effectively? While it may seem intuitive, there’s a bit more to it than simply inserting it and waiting for an orgasm. Here’s the scoop on using a dildo, whether solo or with a partner.

A Note on Inclusivity and Safety

Dildos are not restricted to any particular body part, type, or gender. If you find joy in using a phallic object, go for it — everyone has unique preferences when it comes to pleasure. And if dildos don’t seem to work for you, that’s completely fine too; there are plenty of alternatives.

Inclusivity also extends to size. Dildos come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, textures, and colors, and they are certainly not one-size-fits-all. When choosing one, consider how you want to use it to make sure it meets your needs.

On the topic of safety, while it may seem that using a dildo is relatively risk-free (since there’s no ejaculation involved), it’s essential to note that dildos can still transmit sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Bacteria can cling to your toy and potentially lead to infections if not cleaned thoroughly. Therefore, proper hygiene is crucial. Clean your dildo before and after each use. You can find care instructions on the packaging or by searching online. Different materials require different cleaning methods.

When selecting a dildo, opt for one made from non-porous materials like high-grade body-safe silicone, stainless steel, or glass. If you already own a porous one, consider using a condom with it. And remember, if you’re using a dildo with a partner, it’s vital to clean it thoroughly before switching between users or orifices.

Lastly, don’t forget to use plenty of lube! It enhances comfort and ease during penetration and helps avoid tearing sensitive skin.

Using a Dildo with a Partner

We can’t stress enough the importance of lube! Before engaging in any sexual activity, ensure you have enthusiastic consent from your partner and maintain open communication throughout to ensure everyone’s comfort and enjoyment.

From there, feel free to explore various positions and openings (while adhering to all safety and cleanliness guidelines). Dildos should be used in a judgment-free environment. If you or your partner enjoy oral penetration with it, go for it! You could even enjoy the sensation of a lubed-up dildo sliding between your partner’s breasts. Have fun with it!

Listen to your partner and inquire about what they enjoy or would like you to continue doing. Follow their lead. If you’re using a strap-on dildo, it can enhance intimacy since it allows you to focus on other erogenous zones simultaneously. Experiment with speed, depth, and rhythm.

Using a Dildo for Solo Pleasure

Much of the above advice applies to solo play as well, especially regarding lube and hygiene. Masturbating with a dildo can help you explore your preferences and discover new sensations. For instance, you might enjoy the feeling of using your fingers while the dildo is in your mouth, mimicking oral sex. Or perhaps you prefer the feeling of fullness from a dildo while using a clitoral suction vibrator.

One of the perks of solo play is complete control over the experience: speed, depth, and force are all in your hands. It’s advisable to hold the dildo from its base for the best grip. Relax, breathe deeply, and insert the dildo into your chosen orifice, starting with the tip. From there, decide how deep you want to go, whether you want to move it in and out, or apply pressure to specific areas.

Experiment with various positions: lying on your back, stomach, doggy style, or standing. Get creative! If your dildo has a suction cup base, you can attach it to a wall or floor in the shower for a hands-free experience.

Ultimately, whether with a partner or alone, there are countless ways to enjoy a dildo. If you try it and it’s not for you, there’s no need to stick with it.

Cleaning Your Dildo

Always refer to the specific care instructions that accompany your sex toy when cleaning it. As a general guideline, the first step is to know what material your dildo is made of. For cyberskin, wash it with mild antibacterial soap and warm water. Rubber and latex dildos can be cleaned the same way. For glass, hard plastic, or silicone, use hot water and mild soap, and always let them air dry.

Choosing the Right Dildo

When selecting a dildo, consider your sexual preferences. Dildos come in an array of shapes, sizes, and features. Here are some tips to guide your decision:

If you prefer hard penetration, glass, steel, or wooden dildos provide firm stimulation.
Large or inflatable dildos are ideal if you enjoy a stretching sensation.
If clitoral stimulation is your focus, consider a vibrator instead.

This article was originally published on August 14, 2021.

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Summary

This guide covers everything you need to know about using dildos, including safety, hygiene, and communication with partners. Whether you’re exploring solo or with someone else, understanding your preferences and practicing safe use is essential. Dildos come in various forms, and finding the right one for you can enhance your experience. Always prioritize cleanliness and consent to ensure a fulfilling journey into pleasure.