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Dear Parenting Pro,
I don’t believe in restricting screen time for my kids. Perhaps my opinion will change in the future, but for now, my children (ages 7, 5, and 3) can enjoy TV or their Kindles whenever they like. They engage with their screens for a bit and then move on to other activities. This approach works for our family, even if it might not suit everyone. The issue is that my mother constantly criticizes my choices. She believes I’m being lazy and overly lenient by letting them access screens so freely. However, my kids aren’t glued to their devices; they play outside, engage in independent play, and enjoy time with friends without any issues. I’ve attempted to explain this to her, but she becomes extremely upset, especially when I allow screen time during meals. She keeps nagging me about it, even in front of my children. Is she justified in her concerns, or is she being unreasonable?
It’s clear that what’s most important is that “this works for us.” Each family operates differently, and what’s effective for yours may not be for another family, and that’s perfectly fine! Your approach seems to suit your household, which is what truly matters.
In my view, society places far too much emphasis on the concept of “screen time.” Parents, grandparents, and the community at large often overemphasize it. When something is given undue importance, it can lead to increased desire and obsession. By incorporating screens as just one of many activities in your children’s lives, it’s understandable that they can manage their time with them. Some days they’ll spend more time on screens, while others they might prefer outdoor play.
I’ve seen this with my own child; there are times when I realize her iPad hasn’t been charged in over 48 hours, while other times she wants to binge-watch her favorite shows. My husband, who has ADHD, struggles with self-regulation, highlighting how different approaches work for different individuals. The key is that if your family dynamic is functioning well, that’s fantastic!
Instead of confronting your mother directly, consider inviting her to see things from a different angle. Adults frequently binge-watch series or scroll through social media for hours as a means to relax and escape stress. Why should it be any different for children when they are watching their favorite shows or playing games? (Spoiler: it shouldn’t.) If she can’t appreciate this perspective, remind her that she has already raised her children. These kids are yours now, and they are thriving. Also, remember that we are still navigating a pandemic; if screen time helps them cope, then that’s okay. They don’t need Grandma undermining your authority. Good luck!
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