Finding Comfort in “The Starling” as a Grieving Parent

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As a parent who has faced the profound loss of a child, I approach films centered on this theme with caution. My skepticism was piqued when I learned about the Netflix film, “The Starling.” The comedy-drama follows the journey of Lily (played by Melissa McCarthy) and her husband, Jack (Chris O’Dowd), as they grapple with the aftermath of their infant daughter, Katie’s death. A year has passed, during which Jack has been admitted to a psychiatric facility after a suicide attempt, leaving Lily to manage their grief largely on her own.

Lily eventually seeks help from Dr. Larry Fine, portrayed by Kevin Kline, only to discover he has transitioned from psychologist to veterinarian. During her struggles, she reveals that Katie died from SIDS. As she wrestles with her grief, Lily finds unexpected companionship in a bothersome starling, which becomes a persistent reminder of her loss. Together, they embark on a journey filled with humor and healing, which some critics have dismissed as trivializing the serious subject matter.

Despite mixed reviews, including harsh words from major publications, I found that the film resonated with my experiences as a grieving mother. The portrayal of Jack and Lily’s differing ways of coping with their tragedy felt authentic. The film cleverly intertwines humor with sorrow, reflecting how laughter can be a crucial aspect of healing. Jack’s attempts at humor in the mental health facility mirrored my own experiences, where humor often serves as a shield against the weight of grief.

What stood out to me was the film’s commitment to showcasing both parents’ grief. Hollywood often places mothers at the center of these narratives, but “The Starling” reveals the profound pain fathers endure as well. The film illustrates that, even a year after the loss, the couple must navigate their relationship while dealing with their heartache. Grief evolves over time, and though it remains deeply painful, life continues on.

Some critics may have wished for a clearer resolution to Katie’s death, but for many parents like myself, there are often no grand answers. Healing is a gradual process, taken one day at a time. For those who feel the film awkwardly depicts grief, it’s essential to remember that grief itself often feels awkward.

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In summary, “The Starling” presents a nuanced look at grief that resonates with many parents who have faced similar losses, blending humor and sorrow in a way that feels genuine.