I Need to Embrace My Role as the Quiet Friend Right Now

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Since my high school days, I’ve always been the one pulling everyone together. My home was a hub for gatherings—whether it was preparing for dances, hosting slumber parties, or enjoying afternoon snacks while watching our favorite shows. During college, I made sure my place was welcoming, complete with a clean room and a stash of ramen and wine. Thursday nights were spent with friends on my sunflower-patterned comforter, often finding them napping on my bed when I returned from class.

As a mother, I continued being the social one, reaching out to friends and organizing get-togethers, even if they were less frequent than before. Over the years, I’ve shifted towards a more introverted lifestyle, craving solitude more than ever. Yet, I still appreciate the company of a few close friends and relish the occasional sushi outing or nacho night.

After my divorce, I found my extroverted side resurfacing. I was reestablishing connections and rediscovering my love for hosting. With jewelry parties, cookie swaps, and girls’ nights, I felt a renewed sense of community with my divorced friends. Their companionship was invaluable during a challenging time.

However, lately, I’ve noticed a significant change within myself. I’ve become the quiet friend—the one who doesn’t reply to texts, avoids phone calls, and hesitates to make social plans. While I’m okay with this version of myself, I’m uncertain about what it means. The reality is, I’m simply too exhausted to socialize. I feel overwhelmed, preferring to focus on working out, spending time with my kids, and writing. Right now, I find comfort in solitude.

I need my friends to understand and accept this change, which they do, but it’s crucial for me to accept it too. I’ve spent so long being social that it’s unsettling to embrace this desire for alone time. I need to recognize that it’s perfectly fine to seek peace in solitude, especially during this transitional phase of my life.

Perhaps this shift is a response to trying to fill an emotional void with social interactions, or maybe it’s a reaction to the overwhelming nature of today’s world. People evolve, and their needs change over time. Whatever the cause, the most important lesson for me is to accept my current need to be the quiet friend—there’s nothing wrong with that.

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In summary, embracing the quieter side of myself during this phase is essential for my well-being. It’s okay to take a step back, recharge, and allow myself the space I need without feeling guilty about it.