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When I first tied the knot, I was in my mid-twenties, feeling youthful and vibrant. My days were filled with work and spending time with friends and family. I was always well-groomed, and my partner was eager for intimacy.
Fast forward to our first wedding anniversary, and our first child was sleeping beside us. I had gained over fifty pounds during my pregnancy and made the decision to cut my long hair, which he had adored. Despite these changes, he was counting down the days until we could be intimate again.
We agreed that I would become a stay-at-home parent, a choice that brought me great joy. My mornings transformed from getting dressed for work to playing on the floor with my son in comfy attire. My beauty routine took a backseat. Yet, he still wanted to be intimate with me.
As our family expanded, so did my body with each pregnancy. My wardrobe shifted to jeans and sweatpants, and I opted for the easiest skincare routine. My days were consumed with caring for three toddlers and managing our home. But guess what? I didn’t have to persuade my partner to be intimate; he loved me for who I was, despite the physical changes.
I’ve come across numerous posts from mothers expressing gratitude that their partners still desire them after they’ve gained weight or let their appearances slide. Here’s the reality: your partner isn’t a hero for wanting intimacy with you when you don’t look perfect. This isn’t a commendable trait. If your partner is complaining about a lack of desire because of your appearance, that’s simply not acceptable.
Let’s not forget that men also undergo changes. They gain weight, get comfortable in their sweatpants, and can be just as messy. Nobody looks flawless all the time. When you share a life and children with someone, you see all their sides—both beautiful and less so.
For those who stay home with children, it’s often a struggle just to get through the day. Your body changes, and personal grooming takes a backseat. You’re focused on keeping your kids happy and healthy, and sometimes wearing a t-shirt or pajamas is all you can manage.
A true partner appreciates you for who you are and finds beauty in your efforts as a parent. They won’t fixate on superficial appearances but will cherish the bond you share. So, let’s stop glorifying men for wanting to be intimate with us when we’re in their oversized shirts, sporting messy hair.
You are the real treasure in the relationship. Never forget that.
For more insights on family planning and fertility journeys, check out this article on home insemination kits. If you’re exploring options for starting or expanding your family, Make a Mom offers invaluable resources. Additionally, CCRM IVF provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that intimacy in a relationship should be based on love and appreciation for one another, not superficial standards. Both partners should celebrate each other’s strengths, especially as life changes.