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As both a music educator and a parent of musically inclined kids, I’ve experienced the struggle of coaxing a child to practice an instrument. I once insisted that my son play the violin, despite his clear disinterest. It didn’t go well. Our personalities clashed, leading to frustration for both of us. After a few tearful months, I let him stop. A year later, when he showed interest in the guitar, we got him one, and he’s been playing for eight years now, even picking up piano by ear along the way.
My daughter had a similar journey. She began piano lessons at seven but quickly became discouraged after nerve-wracking performances. I allowed her to quit, and later, she asked me to teach her the violin. Although she’s not keen on solo performances, she recently joined a local youth symphony.
From my experience, forcing kids into music lessons can breed resentment—not only toward the instrument but also toward music itself. I’ve encountered students who were so resistant they would dramatically throw themselves on the floor. I sympathize with their frustration; they’re expressing a clear desire that’s not being heard. Unlike core subjects like math or reading, learning an instrument is a complex challenge that requires genuine interest.
If you’re eager for your child to learn an instrument, consider these strategies to inspire intrinsic motivation:
1. Highlight the Music Around You
When watching a movie together, point out the soundtrack and discuss how it shapes the film’s mood. Many might overlook these musical elements, but without them, the scenes would feel incomplete. Listen to various genres in the car and invest in decent speakers at home to fully appreciate the music. You don’t need to be a music expert; just enjoy the experience.
2. Keep Instruments Accessible
Guitars and pianos are among the easiest instruments to learn. You can often find affordable or even free options online. If you go for a piano, remember to factor in the costs of moving and tuning. A keyboard can suffice, but a real piano or a keyboard with a sustain pedal tends to attract kids more. As for guitars, used ones can be found for around $50, and strings are cheap to replace. Many kids will start exploring the piano on their own, and YouTube offers countless tutorials for beginners.
3. Expose Them to Live Music
Taking your kids to local performances can ignite their interest. Even small community shows are valuable experiences. However, avoid stiff classical concerts before they’re ready, as they often require prolonged stillness and quiet.
4. Find the Right Teacher
When your child shows interest, help them find a teacher whose personality complements theirs. If they’re serious about learning, look for someone experienced; if they just want to dabble, seek a more laid-back instructor. A good teacher will understand if you decide to switch after a few lessons.
5. Use “When-Then” Language for Practice
Kids often resist practice not because they dislike the instrument but because they perceive it as a time drain. Frame practice with trade-offs, like, “Once you practice for 10 minutes, then you can go play outside.” Start small and gradually increase the practice time, allowing days off to give them a sense of control.
6. Embrace the Noise
Expect your home to become louder when your child picks up an instrument. Resist the urge to shush them, even if the sounds are grating. Encourage them to play and perform for you; show genuine interest in their progress. You might even want to record their practice sessions or have them accompany you during other activities.
By nurturing a love for music rather than enforcing lessons, you can foster a more positive relationship between your child and their instrument.
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In summary, rather than pressuring your child into music lessons, aim to cultivate their interest through exposure and encouragement. Find a balance that allows them to explore music at their own pace, fostering a lasting love for the art.