My Teen Challenged Me About Thanksgiving, and I’m Here for Her Critical Thinking

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Recently, during breakfast, my teen daughter posed an intriguing question: “Isn’t Thanksgiving a form of cultural appropriation?” I was caught off guard and asked her where this thought had come from. She explained it had just come to her. After finishing my coffee, I pulled out some educational books about the true history of Thanksgiving that we had purchased previously.

In our multiracial household, discussions around cultural appropriation, systemic injustice, and the effects of colonization are common. I value my daughter’s curiosity, which has led me to reconsider whether we should celebrate Thanksgiving at all. Isn’t it essentially a holiday rooted in colonization—much like Columbus Day? (And, honestly, I have my own issues with the 4th of July, but that’s a topic for another time.)

Thanksgiving has sparked my teen’s critical thinking, prompting questions about hypocrisy in our celebrations. Is there an appropriate way to honor this holiday? Should we even observe it, or can we simply enjoy family time without reflecting on the troubling narratives of pilgrims and Native Americans? Guiding my four children to think critically has been quite the journey.

This timely question was no surprise, as we often delve into serious discussions each fall about Halloween, a prime example of cultural appropriation. We’ve explored why it’s inappropriate for a white child to dress as a Native American warrior and why blackface is unacceptable. These conversations have paved the way for a deeper understanding of cultural appropriation versus appreciation.

Raising Critical Thinkers

Raising tweens and teens who are starting to think critically is a fascinating experience. Rather than simply telling them that issues like racism or sexism are wrong, they are beginning to explore these topics independently. Just a couple of weeks ago, we had an in-depth discussion about abortion during dinner. Instead of me lecturing, I encouraged my kids to share their thoughts, which led to a lively exchange of ideas.

Their critical thinking also means they hold me accountable. For instance, when I enforce a one-dessert-a-day rule, they quickly remind me about my own dessert choices. This shows that actions often speak louder than words; parents take note.

I am proud of how my kids question policies, such as those regarding dress codes that disproportionately affect students of color. They recognize the inequities, making them more likely to challenge them. Why do Black children often face restrictions based on hairstyles that reflect their natural hair texture? Such policies often serve to police Black identity and perpetuate systemic racism.

Conversations About Safety and Inequity

We’ve also talked about why my kids cannot play with toy guns outside like their white peers. One day, my husband took my son to a park where he saw a classmate with a toy gun. Although my son wanted to join in, we had to remind him of the risks involved. This led to important conversations about policing and systemic inequities in the justice system.

Some individuals, usually from privileged backgrounds, have suggested that I should shield my kids from these harsh realities. However, children of color do not enjoy the same safety as their white counterparts. We discuss why they have to adhere to rules their white friends do not, such as not wearing hoodies in stores or always obtaining receipts for their purchases. While some may view these as overly cautious, they are essential safety measures for our children.

We want our kids to be inquisitive and understand the “why” behind rules and historical narratives. We aim for them to make informed choices about celebrations, recognizing that racism is a constant presence, with no breaks for holidays.

Exploring Representation

Another significant topic we’ve explored is the representation of Jesus, especially during Christmas. As a Christian family, my children frequently emphasize that “Jesus wasn’t white.” Historical accounts tell us that Jesus was a man of color. So why do nativity scenes often depict him as blue-eyed and fair-skinned?

Raising culturally aware children demands continuous effort, but it is immensely rewarding. Just two weeks ago, my teen spoke out in class about cultural appropriation, pointing out that some sports team names are inappropriate and thankfully, some have been changed. This awareness is something many teens overlook.

Empowering Our Children

Do I worry that I am overwhelming my kids with discussions about historical inaccuracies and societal issues? Not at all. I believe I am empowering them to think critically and advocate for what’s right. I want them to research, explore, and take pride in their identities.

This Thanksgiving, we plan to COVID-test and gather with our closest family to enjoy football and a meal together. We’re also revisiting our educational books to ensure we’re well-informed for the holiday. This approach represents a compromise for now; as my children mature, they’ll decide how they wish to engage with the holiday. Open dialogue is always encouraged in our home.

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Summary

A mother reflects on her teenager’s thought-provoking question about Thanksgiving and cultural appropriation, leading to discussions about critical thinking in a multiracial family. They explore topics like systemic racism, cultural appropriation, and the challenges of raising socially aware children. The family plans a thoughtful Thanksgiving celebration while keeping open dialogue about the holiday’s implications.