The Controversy Surrounding ‘Push Presents’

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If you’ve experienced childbirth, you know it’s no simple feat. From the discomfort of pregnancy—swelling, nausea, and those pesky round ligament pains—to the challenges of delivery, whether vaginal or C-section, it’s a demanding process. After all that, your partner might want to surprise you with a “push present.” What’s wrong with that? Nothing at all! You’ve earned it.

So, what exactly is a push present? It can be anything your partner decides to gift you. It could be a lovely necklace engraved with your baby’s initials or even a dazzling piece adorned with a large gemstone. The bottom line is that it’s nobody’s business but yours and your partner’s.

Some people believe that a push present is unnecessary, arguing that the arrival of the baby is reward enough. While a newborn is undoubtedly a tremendous blessing after months of anticipation, it’s also nice to feel acknowledged for what you’ve endured. If your partner recognizes that effort and chooses to give you something special, that’s wonderful. Many of us wish our partners were more aware of the physical and emotional labor involved in pregnancy and childbirth because it truly is hard work.

Now, I know some might chime in with the notion that childbirth is what our bodies are made for, and thus, we shouldn’t expect a reward. Sure, some bodies are biologically designed to create and nurture life, and it is indeed a miraculous process. However, even with that biology, what we go through is still nothing short of remarkable.

A push present doesn’t have to be extravagant; it often gets associated with lavish gifts. Not everyone can afford diamonds, and not everyone desires luxury items. A small, meaningful token can carry significant weight. It’s a lasting reminder of the journey you’ve shared. For example, a heartfelt letter expressing appreciation for your sacrifices or a beautiful plant that grows alongside your baby could be incredibly meaningful.

I’ve seen friends receive push presents lately, and I think it’s a lovely gesture. I don’t recall this being a widespread practice during my own experiences, but perhaps it was simply less talked about, allowing individuals to enjoy their moments without judgment.

Just like every other aspect of pregnancy, the decision regarding push presents is personal. The moment you announce your pregnancy, everyone seems eager to offer their opinions, from predicting the baby’s gender to sharing unsolicited advice on everything from stretch marks to nursery decor. And once the baby arrives, the curiosity doesn’t wane; people will ask for your birth story and, yes, about any push present you received. You don’t have to disclose this information if you don’t want to, but if you’re proud and want to share, go ahead! What matters is your family’s happiness.

Carrying and nurturing a child is among life’s most extraordinary experiences, transforming you in countless ways. Each experience is unique, and the joy you feel isn’t contingent on receiving a push present. That can be the cherry on top, but the real reward lies in your personal journey. Don’t let anyone rob you of that joy—whether or not you receive a push present.

If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, you can check out one of our other blog posts here. Also, for authoritative information on fertility and insemination, visit Make a Mom and UCSF’s IVF resources.

Summary

The concept of push presents has sparked debate, with some viewing them as unnecessary while others see them as a thoughtful acknowledgment of the challenges of pregnancy and childbirth. Ultimately, whether or not you receive a push present is a personal choice that should be free from outside judgment. Celebrating the journey of motherhood should always come first.

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