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A father recently took to Reddit to question whether he was in the wrong for not wanting to “watch” his daughter while his wife went on vacation — and the answer is a resounding YES.
It’s a recurring theme that seems difficult for some dads to grasp: when you’re looking after your own children, you’re not babysitting—you’re parenting. The latest instance of this misunderstanding was shared in the Reddit forum “Am I The A**hole?” where users discuss disputes to gauge if they’re in the right or not. In this case, he’s definitely in the wrong.
Here’s the Situation
The father purchased a plane ticket for his wife to visit her grandmother in Italy for her birthday, which is a lovely gesture. However, he also bought a ticket for their four-year-old daughter to accompany her. The wife, who stays at home with their child, wants to take a break and go alone, but he refuses to take a week off work to “babysit” their daughter.
He lamented, “I suggested we have someone else watch her, but we don’t know anyone nearby who’d be willing to help. I love my daughter, but I don’t want to take a week off to babysit her.”
Community Response
Around 4,000 users weighed in on his dilemma, and the consensus was clear: Yes, you are being selfish. The most common sentiment highlighted the essential truth that if the kids belong to you, you’re not babysitting—you’re simply doing your job as a parent. There are no accolades, no bonuses, and certainly no praise for just parenting your own children.
One user pointed out another crucial fact: having kids along on a trip doesn’t equate to a vacation. The true vacation goes to the spouse who gets to stay home while the other parent navigates international travel with a preschooler. “You want your wife to travel solo with a 4-year-old child and handle all the parenting during her visit while you stay home? That’s not fair,” noted one insightful commenter.
The Challenges of Parenting During a Pandemic
And let’s not overlook the added complexity of traveling during a pandemic. As one Redditor aptly stated, “International travel with a 4-year-old is challenging enough, and with current health concerns, she has to ensure her child is masked and hands are sanitized.” With the child being unvaccinated, there are real health risks involved for both the child and her great-grandmother.
Others shared straightforward advice for the mother, while many others took the opportunity to roast the father for his outdated views on parenting.
Key Takeaways
In summary, a few key lessons emerge: first, consult your spouse about significant plans like international travel before making arrangements. Second, ensure that gifts are genuine and not veiled attempts to shift childcare responsibilities. Lastly, recognize that even if your partner is a stay-at-home parent, you, too, are a parent and must contribute equally.
Further Reading
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Summary
A father on Reddit faced backlash for refusing to care for his daughter while his wife took a vacation, mistakenly thinking he was “babysitting” rather than parenting. His choice to not support his wife during her trip stirred significant discussion online, highlighting the importance of shared parenting responsibilities and proper communication in relationships.