artificial insemination kit for humans
This is what genuine happiness looks like! As a mother, I keep my heart open to learn and grow. Today, we set out to buy new school shoes, a task that my son Alex and his brother often dread, while I absolutely relish. Seriously, is there anything better than shoe shopping? I think not!
My history with Alex and shoe shopping has taught me to be very attentive and present during these moments. I pay close attention to his body language, his facial expressions, and the direction his instincts pull him toward.
As we strolled towards the shoe aisle, I was fully aware that we would first pass the girls’ section before reaching the boys’ shoes. When we came upon the vibrant pinks, purples, sparkles, and metallics, I noticed Alex’s face light up. His little body instinctively leaned toward them, yet he hesitated and continued toward the boys’ section instead.
I asked him multiple times if he wanted to check something out or try on a pair, but he remained shy, sticking to the boys’ area. One shoe after another, the routine was the same. He would try them on, walk around, and when asked what he thought, he would simply shrug and say, “They’re okay, I guess.” There was no excitement, no joy—just a sense of obligation to exist in a space that didn’t resonate with him. Each time I saw his reactions, I was reminded how early we learn to conform to societal expectations about who we are and who we should be.
Despite coming from a home where gender norms don’t dictate preferences—where colors aren’t assigned to genders and glitter is embraced—there we were, trapped in the shoe aisle, conforming to roles that didn’t make him happy.
A quote from Glennon Doyle’s book Untamed echoed in my mind: “Ten is when we learn to be good girls and real boys. Ten is when children begin to hide who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be.” In that moment, I realized that my son was being tamed, and I was allowing it to happen.
So, I told him to wait for just a second and took a moment to gather my thoughts. A wave of internal dialogue flooded my mind: “What if he gets teased? What if his friends don’t understand? What if the world hurts him?” But then a different voice broke through: “What if he thinks I’m the one taming him?”
That thought was enough for me to shift course. I could support him through any cruelty he might face, but I didn’t want to be the one to suppress his spirit.
With renewed determination, I searched for the sparkly, holographic sneakers he had been eyeing and hoped they had his size. When I found them, I exclaimed, “Look what I found in your size, buddy!”
The transformation was immediate. The fireworks of joy exploded within him; laughter, smiles, and sheer excitement filled the air. It was a powerful release, a moment of profound freedom as he felt truly validated and seen. We tossed those shoes into the cart and even snagged a second pair in pink and black for indoor wear. He was thrilled to get home to pair them with a shirt and tie he had in mind. My heart swelled with happiness.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s not just about the shoes. It’s about challenging the narratives that society has instilled in us, about breaking free from the status quo, and about being true to ourselves rather than conforming to what the world expects. It’s about teaching our children the power of self-identity and creating a space where they can be exactly who they are.
As the song “Young Man” by The Chicks reminds us, “You’re of me, not mine. Walk your own crooked line. It’s gonna be alright.” My job is to support him, ensuring he never doubts that his parents have his back, and to guide him—one small rebellion at a time—to walk his own unique path to happiness.