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- 4 Indicators You Might Need Couples Therapy
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It’s easy to postpone seeking help until a relationship hits a crisis. However, you might want to explore therapy if you notice any of these subtle warning signs.
By Jamie L. Carter
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: March 10, 2022
You and your partner have children together because of your love for one another. Yet, parenting can significantly challenge your time, patience, and positivity. It’s a long journey that lasts for years. If you want to maintain a strong connection as a couple, couples counseling could be beneficial.
Maintaining the health of your relationship is not a drastic measure. Imagine being a race car speeding around the track; you can’t keep that pace without taking a pit stop. Delay too long, and you risk a breakdown.
Several factors can hinder couples from seeking help. First, there’s that unsettling moment when one partner suggests, “maybe we should talk to someone.” (This doesn’t make you odd; many couples will have seen a therapist by the time their children reach high school.) Next, finding the right therapist can be challenging, but with the rise of online counseling, it’s easier than ever. Finally, while therapy can be an investment, it’s often more affordable than a breakup.
4 Indicators You Might Need Couples Therapy
Assuming no major crisis has occurred—no threats of separation or infidelity—what signs indicate that your relationship could use some attention?
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Your Intimacy is Declining.
You might attribute this to the kids, but intimacy issues can also arise in couples without children. “Intimacy is a form of communication,” explains Lisa Martin, a licensed therapist based in Seattle. Communication can deteriorate over time in any relationship. A therapist can help identify any hidden resentments that might be affecting your connection and intimacy. -
You’re Not Communicating Effectively Anymore.
You don’t need to be fighting to require a mediator. Sometimes couples fall into a routine of mundane conversations about daily logistics, missing deeper discussions. A skilled therapist can help break this pattern and open up lines of communication. Often, one partner may hesitate to express feelings or concerns, fearing it could disrupt harmony. A therapist provides a safe environment for these conversations, allowing both partners to express themselves without fear. -
Recurring Arguments About the Same Issues.
If past grievances resurface repeatedly, it often indicates unresolved feelings of guilt, shame, or anger. “A therapist can help clarify that each argument stems from disappointment,” says Martin. You may find yourselves caught in a cycle of blame. A therapist can aid in breaking this cycle and fostering resolution. -
You’re Fantasizing About Connecting With Someone Else.
If you find yourself wishing to share good news with someone other than your partner—especially if it’s someone who excites you emotionally—it might be time to reflect on your relationship’s state. Couples counseling could provide the necessary support to reconnect with your partner.
In conclusion, you’ve likely heard that maintaining a relationship requires hard work, a phrase that might have seemed cliché when you were deeply in love. Now, as you navigate parenthood, you might realize that some effort is necessary. That’s perfectly normal; it’s part of adulthood.
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Summary
If your relationship is showing signs of strain through declining intimacy, lack of communication, recurring arguments, or fantasies about connecting with others, it may be time to consider couples counseling. Therapy can help facilitate open communication and resolve underlying issues, allowing you to strengthen your bond as a couple.