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When my oldest child began high school, it became clear how much they despised the school environment. They had no interest in following the conventional college route, and convincing them to complete the necessary work for graduation felt like an uphill battle.
This was incredibly challenging for me. My ex-partner and I both earned our Bachelor’s Degrees, and we naturally assumed our children would follow a similar path. I had a wonderful college experience that opened numerous professional doors for me. I loved writing and knew I wanted to pursue a career as a writer, and thankfully, I still rely on that degree today. I wished for the same opportunities for my children and worried that without a college education, my child might find their career options limited. I understood the other side of the equation: many of my Gen-X peers ended up in careers unrelated to their degrees and still grapple with student loan debt.
Hearing that my child didn’t want to attend college felt devastating. I was concerned about societal perceptions. What would others think? Would they judge my decision not to push them toward college?
However, granting my child the freedom to make their own choices and witnessing their success quickly alleviated my fears. They opted to pursue a trade and are now happily working as an electrician. Although I was initially apprehensive, I found a way to move past it. Here’s how you can too:
- It’s their life, not yours.
As parents, we always want the best for our children. Sometimes we mistakenly believe that this means providing them with the same opportunities we had or the ones we wish we had. I had to remind myself that my child is a unique individual. They have their own learning style, life preferences, and interests. My goal is to support who they are, not who I envision them to be. - They can always go later.
Many young people need additional time to discover their true passions before committing to college. I know a woman who graduated from high school in 2000 and only recently completed her degree in nursing. She is incredibly happy she took the time to figure things out. - Forcing them might backfire.
I remember numerous classmates in college who were there against their will. They felt trapped by their parents’ expectations and were generally unhappy. - They can still create a fulfilling life without a degree.
There are countless career paths that don’t necessitate a college education. For instance, I know a woman who is a self-taught chef and owns a thriving restaurant. My cousin chose to enlist in the military, and my child is learning the electrical trade, which promises a solid income. The possibilities are endless, and a degree isn’t essential for a successful and, more importantly, fulfilling life. - It grants them more freedom to choose their path.
It’s also reassuring that these career options come without the burden of hefty college tuition, allowing them the freedom to explore different avenues without financial stress—unlike many of my friends who are still dealing with student loan repayments.
Hearing your child express a lack of interest in college can be heartbreaking, but remember, this is about their future. They deserve the autonomy to make that decision. As parents, our role is to support their choices.
Jamie Thompson is a full-time freelance writer residing in Maine with her three teenagers and two ducks. When she’s not writing, you can find her indulging in online shopping and enjoying Coke Zero.
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- How to support a child not wanting to go to college?
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- The benefits of trade schools
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- Exploring options beyond college
Summary:
Navigating the decision when a child opts not to pursue college can be emotionally challenging for parents. Acknowledging that each child has unique interests and paths is crucial. Supporting their decisions, understanding that they can always return to education later, and recognizing that fulfilling careers exist outside traditional college paths can ease parental concerns. Ultimately, it’s about empowering children to carve their own futures, free from societal expectations.