Tug-of-War
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In that moment, it hit me: I was losing a showdown with a miniature version of myself.
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: April 19, 2022
I could feel her eyes boring into me. That look was so intense, it felt like daggers aimed straight at my heart. My adorable little five-year-old had turned against me. I found myself pleading with her for what felt like the fourth hour to just finish her dinner.
“I don’t like it,” she muttered through her little teeth, arms crossed, pouting, kicking the table, and glaring with those soft, bouncy curls framing her face.
“Where could she have picked this up from?” I thought, frustration bubbling inside me. I crossed my arms and glared back, only to suddenly laugh. Here I was, losing a skirmish to a tiny version of me. With a sigh, I walked over to her and kissed the top of her still-pouting head. She had inherited her stubbornness from the best.
We’ve all heard the warning from our own parents: Just wait until you have kids. Little did I know that my sweet pink bundle of joy would transform into this sassy diva just five years later. I thought kids took on their parents’ traits in their thirties, not at such a tender age.
I noticed a striking resemblance between my children and me early on. Most days, it’s delightful, almost like having a built-in friend. But battling your own reflection can be as frustrating as it sounds.
I was unsure about having kids until I met my husband. After that, I envisioned having a mini version of him running around. And lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened with our son. He mirrors his father in so many ways: kind, compassionate, and intelligent, yet sometimes pessimistic and tough on himself. My daughter, on the other hand, is loving, sweet, dramatic, and willful. They both share that stubborn streak, are naturally funny, and often use humor to ease tension—a trait they picked up from both of us. It’s hard not to chuckle (with them) when they try to evade trouble.
Parenting is already a challenge, but it becomes even tougher when you’re up against strong personalities. It’s even more complicated when they point out your own behavior. For example, I often find myself raising my voice when stressed, only for them to remind me not to raise their voices. Oddly enough, that’s when silence falls.
It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned to pause and ask myself two important questions: What is this child upset about? And if I were in their shoes, what would I need? The upside of facing a pint-sized version of your stubborn self is that, if you’re self-aware, you know how to handle it.
I’ve discovered that my son needs calm and quiet, much like his father. He prefers a soft voice and reassurance. As a child, I craved physical comfort, needing hugs or a warm blanket when upset. If my daughter is in the midst of a tantrum, I wait until she quiets down before opening my arms for a hug. It’s almost funny how much she mirrors this need and rushes to me for comfort.
Of course, just as I think I’ve got them figured out, the rules will shift by their next birthdays. My friends have kindly warned me about the upcoming pre-teen years for my son, chuckling as they recall thinking they had it tough before. “Bigger kids, bigger problems,” they say. “Oh great,” I reply, already contemplating how to ensure the coffee supply never runs dry.
Jamie Thompson is a wife and mother of two living in metro Detroit. She works as a physical therapist and enjoys reading, baking, and writing in her spare time. Check out her blog: mommiongonfumes.com.
This article was originally published on April 19, 2022.
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