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Attention, Ladies! Ever experienced an unexpected wave of heat washing over you, despite feeling “too young” for hot flashes? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
By Jamie Thompson
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: May 6, 2022
One evening, I found myself passionately discussing a frustrating family incident with my partner, feeling the heat rise within me. Initially, I thought my flushed face was just due to my heightened emotions. It felt akin to stepping out of a hot shower and seeking relief in front of the fridge. But soon, the warmth spread to my chest, neck, and face until I felt like I was “sizzling in the Sahara,” as my friend used to joke. I stepped outside to cool down, only to later view myself on the doorbell camera: panting, bewildered, and quite lost.
With my 40th birthday just around the corner, I had anticipated at least a decade before facing any symptoms. I was aware that perimenopause could start as early as the mid-thirties, but I thought that merely meant occasional irregular periods or slight hormonal changes. I never expected to feel like I was spontaneously combusting on my porch. Research shows I’m not alone; according to a 2021 study, almost half of women worldwide lack knowledge about perimenopause. Nearly 44% weren’t even aware of its existence until they started experiencing symptoms, while 46% were caught off guard when it began. The stark contrast between what we know about our first menstrual cycle versus our last is alarming.
Cultural stigmas surrounding women’s health—especially as it pertains to aging—keep many of us in the dark. It’s worth noting that perimenopause can also impact trans men and non-binary individuals due to estrogen fluctuations.
Common Symptoms of Perimenopause
Curious about what others are experiencing, I reached out to friends and was surprised by the variety of symptoms. A close friend, older than me, has been dealing with hot flashes for years, while another friend of the same age has experienced none. Surprisingly, it seemed many of my peers had never discussed these concerns openly.
One friend my age suffers from severe night sweats, while another grapples with late-onset migraines. It turns out I, too, have been dealing with unexpected symptoms like sudden hair growth under my chin and chronic headaches. I even asked my doctor last summer why my deodorant seemed ineffective. It appears perimenopause has been quietly influencing my health for a while without me realizing it.
When I sought out more formal guidance, I was disheartened to find many sources downplayed the experience. For instance, the Cleveland Clinic defines perimenopause simply as the phase when menstrual cycles become unpredictable. However, for many, the symptoms can be debilitating, including severe depression or anxiety, unpredictable mood swings, and even brain fog so debilitating that some fear early-onset Alzheimer’s.
Beyond the more recognized symptoms like hot flashes and mood shifts, there are numerous lesser-known yet distressing signs, including:
- Chronic heartburn
- Vaginal bleeding during or after sex
- Anal bleeding
- Persistent dry eyes
- Incontinence
- Nausea
- Chills
- Dry skin
- Hair loss
- Burning Mouth Syndrome
Additionally, other symptoms may arise during this transitional phase, such as body odor, tinnitus, fatigue, and dental issues.
Finding Support and Treatment
It’s clear we need to talk about perimenopause more openly. Being uninformed about potential changes in our bodies — and how to manage them — simply isn’t acceptable. But who should we talk to? While it seems logical to consult our doctors, many medical professionals feel unprepared to assist with menopausal symptoms. A survey revealed that only 7% of medical residents felt qualified to help manage menopause, with 20% having received no training on the topic.
If you’re seeking medical advice, it’s crucial to find a doctor you trust. Discuss your experiences and ask if what you’re feeling is related to perimenopause or if it could be attributed to other factors. Inquire about possible treatments, including hormone therapy, vaginal estrogen, or even medications like gabapentin, which might alleviate hot flashes.
Building a Community
Ultimately, we need to foster dialogue about these topics. Support groups are available for those seeking connection. Remember the Peanut app, originally for mothers? They recently added a menopause group! Online communities like r/Menopause and r/AskWomenOver30 also provide valuable platforms for sharing experiences.
Instead of suffering in silence, let’s normalize discussions about this natural phase of life. Whether it’s explaining your symptoms at work or sharing product recommendations with friends, breaking the silence is essential. Surprisingly, only 9% of women discuss menopause with their mothers, which is a conversation worth having.
The more we communicate, the less shocking the transition will be, and the better prepared we’ll be for what lies ahead.
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