All I Wanted for Christmas Was My Old Self Back

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Have you ever gazed into a mirror and felt like a stranger was looking back? That was my experience after becoming a mom. After years of dedication, I had achieved a fulfilling career as a producer and writer, but everything changed when I had two little ones in less than two years. Late nights that once revolved around glitz and glamour transformed into endless hours spent rocking babies.

Now, when I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who hadn’t showered in days, likely splattered with juice or some other sticky substance. Where had my ambition gone? My only focus was simply to survive the day.

It was a tough realization, and I found myself in the depths of postpartum depression. At that moment, my thoughts were far from career aspirations; all I could think about was needing support. We decided to leave our life in Los Angeles, hastily packing boxes and hoping for the best, and moved to be closer to family in Ohio. While it was the right choice for my personal well-being and my daughters, the postpartum struggles persisted, and I began to wonder about my own dreams and aspirations.

I sought help from a doctor and made it a priority to focus on myself again. A year later, as I settled into our new home and my daughters grew older, I finally saw a hint of hope. I resolved to start writing again, not for anyone else, but for me. No more excuses about lacking time; I was determined to carve out moments for my passion.

To kickstart my creativity, I enrolled in a MasterClass with one of my inspirations, Mia Johnson, the founder of a popular brand. One of her first lessons emphasized the importance of quiet to foster creativity, especially for busy moms like us. I decided to try this for 15 minutes each night.

One evening, my mom called and asked what I wanted for Christmas. I jokingly replied, “My old self back.” Her response was, “That might be a tall order!” Later that night, while reading to my toddler, I envisioned my former self, carefree and radiant, nestled beneath the Christmas tree instead of Santa.

That whimsical thought sparked an idea. What if I created a lift-the-flap book for moms, not babies? A humorous exploration of the chaotic journey of motherhood, inspired by my own identity crisis? I stayed up until the early hours, pouring my heart into it.

Thus, the book Where’d I Go? was born. It’s a lighthearted yet meaningful gift for mothers, designed to help spark conversations about the struggles we face. Each flap reveals the emotional and physical transformations we endure, from losing our sense of identity during childbirth to grappling with the inevitable changes as our children grow.

Remembering who we were before parenthood is vital. Amidst the chaos of diaper changes and homework, we must reconnect with ourselves. This journey started with a simple idea, reigniting my passion for writing. I hope this little book, inspired by a lighthearted wish, encourages you to rediscover who you are.

Jamie Taylor is a writer and TV producer with over a decade of experience in the industry. She now resides in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband and two daughters, and is expecting Baby #3. Her debut book, Where’d I Go? A Lift-The-Flap Book for Moms, was released in June 2022, with a portion of proceeds benefiting mental health initiatives.

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Summary:

After struggling with postpartum depression and a loss of identity post-pregnancy, Jamie Taylor shares her experience of rediscovering herself through creativity and writing. By creating a humorous lift-the-flap book for moms, she addresses the emotional toll of motherhood while reminding us to reconnect with who we were before having children. The book serves as a conversation starter about the complexities of motherhood.