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When a couple reaches the point of thinking, “We might need couples therapy,” it’s often a sign that their relationship is in trouble. While seeking counseling is a proactive and healthy step, it can also signify that there’s a chance the marriage may not survive without significant changes.
Many couples emerge from therapy equipped with new skills and a commitment to navigate the complexities of marriage, especially while parenting. However, not all relationships are salvaged, and some end in divorce, sometimes unexpectedly.
To explore which signs may indicate a marriage is on shaky ground, we consulted relationship therapists across the country. Here are the key indicators they identified:
1. Diminished Respect
Therapists agree that a loss of respect between partners can be detrimental. Once one partner begins to view the other with contempt, it can be challenging to rebuild that trust. Kevin Richards, a marriage counselor, emphasizes that seeing a spouse as “not a good person” can severely hinder the healing process.
2. Lack of Shared Responsibility
Counseling is most effective when both partners acknowledge their role in the relationship’s struggles. According to Lisa Green, a counseling expert, if one partner refuses to take accountability for their actions, resentment can build, leading to an emotional divide. Both must be willing to examine their behavior and agree to make changes.
3. Unequal Communication
Healthy communication is vital for a thriving relationship. Scott T. Miller, a counselor, warns that if one partner avoids discussing issues altogether, it can create a buildup of unresolved tensions. Couples should strive to communicate openly and effectively, ensuring both parties feel heard.
4. Defeatist Mindset
A willingness to engage in conflict is essential for a healthy relationship. Coleman suggests that when couples stop fighting entirely, it often signals a lack of belief in their relationship’s potential for change. Healthy arguments can indicate hope for resolution, while apathy can lead to an emotional chasm.
5. Lack of Empathy
According to Maria Lopez, a family mediator, a partner who exhibits narcissistic tendencies is more likely to struggle in a marriage. Counseling should focus on understanding each other’s feelings, not just on meeting one’s own needs. Empathy is crucial for fostering love and connection.
Conclusion
Therapists consistently emphasize that mutual effort is key to a successful marriage. If both partners are dedicated to making it work, the relationship can thrive. However, if one partner is unwilling to engage, it may be time to consider a divorce. The journey of marriage is filled with challenges, and understanding these signs can help you navigate your relationship’s future.
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