I’m a Chaotic Mom, and Honestly, I’m Mostly Okay With It

happy pregnant womanartificial insemination kit for humans

Every year, I promise myself that this will be the year everything changes. I’ll be organized, on top of every detail, and ensure my kids are well-fed with lovingly prepared, nutritious lunches. For about four weeks, I manage to stick to this plan. But then, my kids start asking why they can’t have hot lunches like their friends. I cave in a couple of times, and by week six, they’ve fully embraced the hot lunch lifestyle. My mom guilt nags at me, suggesting I should be crafting adorable meals in fancy containers, yet my tiredness reminds me they enjoy school lunches and eat them without complaints. So why fix what isn’t broken?

I’ve come to accept my role as a chaotic mom. I wish I were one of those Pinterest-perfect moms or a dedicated soccer or dance mom, but since we don’t engage in consistent extracurriculars, I can only embrace my messy reality. I recognize that many parents face similar challenges, and those who appear to have it all together might just be managing their chaos differently.

Most school days start with a mental checklist: lunches, backpacks, water bottles, laptops, work bag, both kids, and my coffee. I repeat this list during the car ride, just in case. (Yes, it has happened that a child exited the car only to realize their backpack was still at home, providing quite the entertainment for my kids as I made a quick U-turn back to the house.)

If I manage to get everything to school on the first attempt, I feel a sense of accomplishment. However, parenting is often full of unexpected surprises. One hectic morning, I opened the car door for my then five-year-old daughter, only to find her looking quite unkempt. “Why didn’t you tell me I forgot to brush your hair?!” I exclaimed. “I don’t know,” she shrugged. It was my responsibility to ensure she was properly groomed at that age, but let’s be honest—if left to their own devices, my kids would likely tumble out of bed and into the car without a second thought.

I did my best to untangle her hair as we rushed off, worrying about what her teachers might think when they saw her in such disarray. This has happened multiple times, and I’m eagerly awaiting the day she can handle her own hair.

Another of my favorite oversights is forgetting to feed my kids. This isn’t intentional, of course, but in the rush to get everyone ready, I often forget to check what they want for breakfast. Neither child seems to grasp the concept of time in the morning, and their growling stomachs don’t prompt them to ask for food. So, when it’s time to head out and I hear, “But what about breakfast?”, I’m left feeling guilty, irritable, and thankful for pre-packaged foods that come to my rescue.

Even if I manage to send my kids off to school fed and clean, there’s still the matter of homework, which always leaves me feeling overwhelmed and disorganized. Don’t even get me started on school projects! I can finally laugh about the time I found a homework packet buried in my kindergartener’s backpack just 15 minutes before we needed to leave for school. Her teacher had assigned three pages about their spring break activities—three pages! My kid takes an hour just to finish four bites of dinner, so you can imagine the panic that set in. She did what she could, and I’ve since become a strong advocate for no homework for young children!

Most days, I feel like I’m just getting by. I see other parents who seem to have it all figured out, and I remind myself that I’m only seeing a snapshot of their lives. No matter how much I hope this school year will be different, I know it will likely be more of the same. One thing I can guarantee, though—my daughter’s hair will always be in good shape. I’ve learned to keep a brush in the car at all times.

Chloe Adams is a wife and mother of two living in the bustling metro area. As a physical therapist, she juggles her career while enjoying reading, baking, and sharing her experiences on her blog, momsjourney.com.