Default Parent Syndrome
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A recent survey reveals that, unsurprisingly, moms often bear the brunt of the responsibilities associated with preparing their children for the upcoming school year.
By Jenna Taylor
Aug. 30, 2022
Ariel Skelley/DigitalVision/Getty Images
With summer officially behind us, the work that comes with the back-to-school season is far from over, as any parent—particularly mothers—can attest. Evernote, a productivity application, conducted a survey that highlights how moms frequently find themselves shouldering the majority of back-to-school duties with little assistance. Collaborating with global public opinion and data firm YouGov, Evernote surveyed 1,083 mothers to gauge just how challenging this time of year is for them. The findings confirmed what many mothers already know: a significant portion of the workload falls on their shoulders.
Over a third (34%) of respondents reported that they manage the entirety of back-to-school preparations, which includes everything from scheduling and attending doctor appointments to shopping for school supplies and more. Just over one-fifth (21%) indicated that they handle most of the back-to-school chaos alone, with their partner only stepping in occasionally. Only about one in ten reported receiving equal support from their partner.
The study also highlighted how inflation and the lingering effects of the pandemic have exacerbated stress levels for moms during this busy season. More than half (58%) cited budgeting as a primary source of anxiety, while 57% expressed concerns about COVID safety measures. Other significant stressors included coordinating drop-off and pick-up times (54%), managing extracurricular activities (52%), overseeing children’s apps and platforms (44%), and organizing childcare (35%).
These results reflect the notion of the “default parent,” particularly during this time of year, which tends to highlight the imbalance in shared parenting responsibilities. According to the survey, education-related tasks predominantly fall on mothers. Here’s a breakdown of how many moms reported managing specific school-related responsibilities alone:
- 58% handle meal preparation for the entire family, including school lunches
- 39% are the primary homework helpers
- 37% oversee drop-off and pick-up schedules
- 26% manage extracurricular activities
- 25% take care of school paperwork
- 15% do all the back-to-school shopping independently
Despite juggling numerous tasks and carpool schedules, nearly 47% of respondents claim to keep all this information in their heads without any calendar or reminders. Another 47% utilize a physical planner or to-do list, while 18% rely on apps—there’s no shame in needing to write things down.
Even with the substantial workload moms face, many struggle to carve out personal time for relaxation. One-quarter of moms reported they cannot find any time to decompress. Among the 75% who can take some time for themselves, 62% prioritize quality alone time, 52% spend their leisure time with friends and family, while 34% engage in hobbies or leisure activities.
Fortunately, as the back-to-school season wraps up, moms can look forward to a brief moment of respite before the holiday season kicks in. For those feeling overwhelmed, now could be a great opportunity to discuss dividing parental responsibilities with a partner, friend, or family member if possible.
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In summary, the back-to-school season places an overwhelming amount of responsibility on mothers, often leading to increased stress and a feeling of being the “default parent.” Through surveys, it is evident that many moms are juggling multiple tasks without adequate support. Recognizing this imbalance is crucial for promoting shared responsibilities in parenting.