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The Day My Partner Encountered the Berlin Wall
In Portland, summer typically kicks off around July 5th. However, this year, it arrived unexpectedly early, with sweltering temperatures soaring into the 90s by mid-June. While I usually relish the sunshine, this particular week was challenging; my partner was traveling in Europe for work, leaving me to manage a rambunctious 100-pound Labrador and our energetic 16-month-old, all while juggling a full-time job at a Fortune 500 company.
Although I had coped with solo parenting during previous trips, this time felt different. The heat was intense, but I reassured myself that my daughter’s room had a portable AC unit and that I could endure a bit of discomfort. However, when she woke up at 1 a.m. on the second night and refused to settle down, I knew we were in for a rough time. I brought her into my bed, where the temperature hovered around 85 degrees. We both struggled to sleep, and I think she finally drifted off around 5 a.m. Seizing the moment, I attempted to squeeze in a quick workout, only to be interrupted after 20 minutes when she woke up.
Hoping for a few extra minutes of solitude, I instead found myself gathering both my daughter and the panting dog into the bathroom for a shower. I had an offsite meeting that day where I needed to present, and while I longed to appear polished and maybe even straighten my hair, it just wasn’t happening. Instead, I accepted my natural, unkempt curls.
As I sat on the bathroom floor, half-dressed and entertaining my daughter, my partner FaceTimed us from Europe.
“Look, it’s the Berlin Wall. I had some free time to explore,” he said.
I tried to engage with him while simultaneously fishing tampons out of my daughter’s mouth when, suddenly, the dog began to vomit. I dropped the phone, apologized to my partner, and hurriedly dragged the dog outside. Meanwhile, my daughter began to cry, sensing my panic. I could only imagine my partner, in Germany, at the Berlin Wall, listening to the chaos unfold on his end.
Finally, I managed to get everyone into the car when my partner called again, asking, “How are you doing?”
I pride myself on being strong and capable, but at that moment, I broke down. “The dog, the heat…” I mumbled through tears.
“What can I do?” he asked.
I glanced at the clock, realizing I was minutes away from being late to my meeting while still needing to drop my daughter off at daycare.
“Can your parents come and install an AC unit?” I suggested.
Just as I pulled into the daycare parking lot at 8:55 a.m. (missing the 8:30 breakfast of my offsite), I received a text from my father-in-law asking what type of AC unit I wanted. I tried to respond while navigating a golf course in search of my meeting. I entered the correct room at 8:59, the last to arrive, with the only available seat next to the vice president. It was evident everyone had been waiting for me. I quickly settled in and pulled out my laptop, trying to shift from frazzled mom to competent businesswoman. My phone buzzed constantly with texts from my father-in-law and check-ins from my partner.
I offered a brief apology to the vice president, explaining my tumultuous morning. He looked sincerely at me and asked if I needed a moment to step outside and collect myself. As a newcomer to the team, I appreciated his kindness but politely declined, striving to regain my professionalism. However, the entire group seemed eager to hear what had caused the delay, prompting me to share the details of my chaotic morning, likely branding myself as the “crazy mom” in their eyes.
The rest of the day passed without incident. I successfully completed my presentation and picked up my daughter from daycare, returning to a cool house thanks to my thoughtful in-laws. The next morning, my boss, who is also a mother, asked how my day went. As I recounted the morning’s events, she was soon laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face. “I’m not laughing to mock you,” she reassured me. “I’m laughing because I’ve been there too.”
In summary, navigating parenting challenges while balancing a professional career can be overwhelming, especially in unexpected circumstances. Support from family and understanding from colleagues can make a world of difference during chaotic moments.
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